My mother is dying of terminal cancer, the last few days she took a sudden turn for the worse. I've asked her if she wants to go to the hospital, but she refuses. She hasn't been eating, and only gets up to drink water and go to the bathroom. She never wrote anything pertaining to her wishes, but she hates the thought of going to the hospital, she's said before that she's ready to pass. Can she stay at home, or would I be required to call her an ambulance, knowing that she's dying. She has a hospice nurse that comes every 2 weeks, should I call her, and is she required to call an ambulance?
Please speak with the hospice social worker. They should have explained how this happens.
I know how difficult this time is for you; sending you a hug and a prayer for a painless and easy transition for your dear mom. And for God to help you process the whole transition.
Mom passed as she wanted, quietly, in no pain, suffering or distress at all.
Both my parents were on hospice (one at home and one in memory care), and both hospice companies were exhaustive in their explanations of how it worked, what I was to do, and what they do.
Are there really hospice companies that don't do this, or are people not paying attention at all during the conversations?
It could very well be that the OP wasn't involved or around when mom made the decision to go onto hospice. I don't see anything in OP's question, or in the profile that leads me to believe that OP and mom live together.
Since my sisters don't live here, they weren't involved when hospice came to interview my mother and me. I would bet neither of them know as much about hospice as I do.
Do not call ambulance. Your mom's choice to get hospice means that no testing or treatment is necessary or wanted.
I agree with MJ and am APPALLED that your hospice has not only left you with no instructions, but with such shoddy RN coverage; as I said, they are well paid by medicare.
I'm very sorry that you and mom are going through this. (((hugs)))
However, they should not be kept in their bedrooms but placed in the main living area as it helps them keep connected with loved ones, and helps keep them peaceful. Some times palliative medications can affect their perceptions when they wake up from sleep and cause some confusion.
So if it is possible, the dying person many times loves being in the presence of others, of life, and others going and out, and loving the pets and lovely bouquet of flowers.
Being with others reduces pain and sense of loss. It is so important to carry mother with love and joy and happiness on her journey. They may often enjoy listening to their favorite music, or other times silence and loving touches. Sometimes they get hot and need help to get cooler or other times, they get cold and need to be covered. Swabbing their mouth helps prevent any dryness, or turning and arranging pillows can help, just ask.
Family members can learn instructions when to dose, when she has a change of condition, or needs more comfort care. Hospice leaves their number and always gets back promptly or sends a nurse over as soon as possible to adjust within so many hours, and advise over the phone in the meantime.
just know that family members as well as your mother will be supported.