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Husband is 80 years old and has dementia. Can not get him to take a shower. Any suggestions?

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Very common!  My dad wouldn't get in the tub either.  He'd fight with my poor mother every time she tried.  I have friends who are taking care of their parents and they are going through the same thing.  I really don't know why they do this.

In our case, my dad (92) had to go into a nursing home because of his progressing and violent dementia so they knew how to bathe him.  When he was home my mother would just try to bathe him with adult wet wipes.

You're not alone and good luck to you.
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Let him do a sponge bath. Forget the shower and tub. There is an unknown fear they have of those places.
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I talked with a caregiver who said she gets in the shower with the person and that works great. The person is sitting on a bench.

I am a caregiver for my mom (89). She does not have Alzheimer’s, but instead is terrified of falling. I use a wheelchair to get to the bathroom. She’s also afraid of sliding off the transfer bench. I am with her during the shower.

I try and make it really nice after the bath. Rubbing her legs and feet with lotion, etc. one way a cajole her is to remind her of how good it will feel after the bath.
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My mom constantly does this too. They are afraid of falling. Skin is sensitive and dry. They get cold and so forth. It's hard to motivate them. I always get help from doctors and nurses to drive the point home. Let's face it. It is totally exhausting caring for an elderly person. I have found the mental exhaustion far more draining than the physical exhaustion.
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