Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
BlueEyedGirl is making really good points. Be honest with yourself. Are you, perhaps inadvertently, interfering with her care at the facility? Do you or have you had a relationship or acquaintance with the daughter? If so, was it never good or has it gone south? If yes, question your own participation in the breakdown in communication. If you've never met her, perhaps you could call her or write her a note explaining why you would like to visit with her mother and ask if there is anything you can do to help the mother and daughter right now. Focus less on you being blocked from seeing your friend and more on your friend's welfare. Be aware that it's no picnic to be a POA agent. Don't be the straw that breaks her back.
If your friend is competent than no the daughter can't keep you away. If she has Dementia than the daughter may be able to but I would want to know why. I wish people had visited Mom.
Yes, she can. My mom is in AL and her friends were causing a lot of problems with the staff and trying to convince my mom she needed to be home instead (where no one and them included were not able to take care of her) so the facility told me since i have POA i am allowed to ban them from visiting
Is this a new/recent placement or a short term placement or has she been there for a while/long term? There may be reasons for her keeping you from seeing her mother that you are not aware of. Countrymouse makes lots of good suggestions and I'd like to add a few.
If this is a new/recent placement - most places for long term care generally request that even close family give new residents time to adjust before visiting - and if there are new issues for the resident who have been there long term they may ask for a renewed time of fewer or no visits to allow a cooling off period.
If this is short term rehab placement it is possible that your visits are interfering with her rehabilitation - perhaps your arrivals are poorly timed with meals or rehab sessions?
If she is there for longer term, have you been clearing your visits with her daughter or just showing up? Perhaps your visits are causing issues that you are not aware of. My FIL, even though he is being cared for in his home, has one friend who he will share things with via phone, and when he gets off of those calls he will have reactions that are not fun to deal with. (This person riles him up considerably). Perhaps the conversations that you have with your friend incite issues with her after you leave and you don't realize it?
If you are arriving at inopportune times, arriving during times in which visitors are discouraged, your visits are potentially causing issues for the facility or even her daughter it is entirely possible that she could block you from seeing her mother.
You don't mention whether your friend has dementia or AZ or any memory issues, but this could contribute greatly to the issue of visitors. You may not even realize it, but it is entirely possible that after your visits, her mother is agitated or upset and wishes to go "home". If that is the case, then I can see why she might wish to limit the visits.
I don't know if this is a good idea or not, I suppose it would depend on whether you think you can talk to her - since you mention that she wanted to get a restraining order and her mother wouldn't sign it. Is there any potential to talk the daughter and ask why she has restricted visits? To be honest....the wish to get a restraining order sounds pretty strong to me - when she could just restrict your access to her at the facility - and I have to ask why she might need to even consider going that additional step? Is there some reason she would believe such a strong reaction might be necessary on her part to keep you away from her mother?
If: Your friend is unable to make decisions for herself (about who she wants to see, in this case) Your visits are not in your friend's best interests Your visits cause your friend distress or are damaging to her in some other way There is no other way to prevent the harm The harm is potentially such that preventing you from visiting is a proportionate solution
Then yes she can. What's the problem with your visiting? What does the POA daughter think you and her mother are getting up to?
The daughter can't "create" a restraining order anyway, she can only apply to a court for one, and she doesn't need her mother to sign any such application or submission if she can demonstrate that the order would be justified.
Are you sure that your friend isn't saying one thing to you and the opposite to her daughter?
Are you running into confrontations with the rehab staff, too?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Yes, she can prevent you from seeing her mother.
Be respectful of her decision, and perhaps you can visit when she goes home. If daughter says no, then that's it.
What are her reasons?
If this is a new/recent placement - most places for long term care generally request that even close family give new residents time to adjust before visiting - and if there are new issues for the resident who have been there long term they may ask for a renewed time of fewer or no visits to allow a cooling off period.
If this is short term rehab placement it is possible that your visits are interfering with her rehabilitation - perhaps your arrivals are poorly timed with meals or rehab sessions?
If she is there for longer term, have you been clearing your visits with her daughter or just showing up? Perhaps your visits are causing issues that you are not aware of. My FIL, even though he is being cared for in his home, has one friend who he will share things with via phone, and when he gets off of those calls he will have reactions that are not fun to deal with. (This person riles him up considerably). Perhaps the conversations that you have with your friend incite issues with her after you leave and you don't realize it?
If you are arriving at inopportune times, arriving during times in which visitors are discouraged, your visits are potentially causing issues for the facility or even her daughter it is entirely possible that she could block you from seeing her mother.
You don't mention whether your friend has dementia or AZ or any memory issues, but this could contribute greatly to the issue of visitors. You may not even realize it, but it is entirely possible that after your visits, her mother is agitated or upset and wishes to go "home". If that is the case, then I can see why she might wish to limit the visits.
I don't know if this is a good idea or not, I suppose it would depend on whether you think you can talk to her - since you mention that she wanted to get a restraining order and her mother wouldn't sign it. Is there any potential to talk the daughter and ask why she has restricted visits? To be honest....the wish to get a restraining order sounds pretty strong to me - when she could just restrict your access to her at the facility - and I have to ask why she might need to even consider going that additional step? Is there some reason she would believe such a strong reaction might be necessary on her part to keep you away from her mother?
Your friend is unable to make decisions for herself (about who she wants to see, in this case)
Your visits are not in your friend's best interests
Your visits cause your friend distress or are damaging to her in some other way
There is no other way to prevent the harm
The harm is potentially such that preventing you from visiting is a proportionate solution
Then yes she can. What's the problem with your visiting? What does the POA daughter think you and her mother are getting up to?
The daughter can't "create" a restraining order anyway, she can only apply to a court for one, and she doesn't need her mother to sign any such application or submission if she can demonstrate that the order would be justified.
Are you sure that your friend isn't saying one thing to you and the opposite to her daughter?
Are you running into confrontations with the rehab staff, too?