This is my situation. I was taking care of my BIL for the past 11 yrs and became his rep payee of soc sec because he has dementia. He was hospitalized for an appendix abscess a year ago then his niece and sister got POA on medical but the notary person wasn't there in his room when he signed the paperwork and when we signed the paperwork for witnesses she wasn't there either. We were forced to do it. Now having problems with the niece who thinks she has a right to do anything to him or for him when she doesn't have a clue to him being diabetic, heart disease, and kidney disease. For the diabetic side we went to a nurse to help with what kinds of food for him but she thinks she can feed him anything she wants him to have. Their words were we keep him happy and comfortable. He isn't on any kind of diabetes meds. I am buying foods that he can eat since its my responsibility to do that because of him having dementia and cannot drive anymore because of this and his seizures. And that is another problem them telling him he can drive when in fact the doctor told him he couldn't they give him hope and I have to be the one to take it away because he can't register his vehicle or have insurance on his vehicle because he isn't a licensed driver because I have to pay for all of this but when it comes to licensing the vehicle again I can't do it legally so here sits a vehicle not being driven. They keep telling me they have to do this because of his dementia.
I am fit to be tied. The niece just was covid positive she did her 5 days of quarantine now she is going to take her uncle my BIL to the doctors when I could do it haven't been around anyone with covid. Just can't understand why she would put her uncle at risk when he has had covid in November which it wasn't good on him not a mild case. Why put him in danger again?
Just need some reassuring that I am not the bad guy here. The niece doesn't have a medical background doesn't see what she is doing wrong won't take any suggestions from other people including his doctor at the time and the nurse at the other clinic she just switches him to another clinic. She wants them to jump thru her hoop. Had no problem with the other clinic until this POA stepped in with her loud mouth.
Thanks for listening to me. It just helps to get it off of my chest don't have anyone to listen to me.
How were you forced? Can you please explain the circumstances? The law does not count "ignorance" of the law as a defense.
If your BIL already had a diagnosis of dementia in his medical records prior to him "signing" the PoA, I'd say you have a legal case.
If you hadn't signed as a witness for the PoA it is very possible the niece would have found someone else to be the witness. In my state family is not allowed to "witness" the PoA signing, not sure in your state.
You can choose to contest the PoA -- but if you succeed and are not willing/able to his caregiver/advocate, then who would? He would probably become a ward of the county, which may not be the worst outcome.
If she switched him to another clinic it may be for convenience, as caregiving needs to also work for the caregiver since it is a lot of work.
I'm sorry for the distress this is causing you, and for the rift it's creating in your family. You made an innocent mistake by witnessing the signing under pressure but even if you hadn't, she may still have gotten the PoA paperwork "completed". She may have thought she was doing a "good thing", albeit not legally, so that your BIL wouldn't become a ward of the state and then all family lose control over his care decisions and management.
Notarizing an unwitnessed document appears to be legal as long as the signee(s) are present. smh As Geaton777 noted though, a person with dementia cannot give POA. Who's taking care of BIL's finances?
At the least, taking your concerns to BIL's local aging protective services of an elder being endangered by niece's disregard for his health and doctor's orders may help.
Its his sister and niece so I think they would win out in any court. You may just have to turn him over to their care. I personally would not care for someone if I did not have both financial and medical POAs. No control, no care.
Is he reasonably able to execute a new DMCPOA?
You are not a bad guy in the least, I think you have been an amazing SIL and obviously have his best interest at heart.
I am wondering if it is safe for him to live alone though.
And at this time I know he doesn't remember doing a POA for medical if you ask him he will tell you he didn't.
You are showing great love and concern for your BIL. That is admirable. But you may need to wash your hands of his care.
I don’t wish to be a wet cloth on the fire you need to express. You’re doing a great job.
Do what you can legally and then move on.
Take whatever paperwork you have concerning your BIL down to the probate court in the town he lives in. Then explain this weird situation with the niece and sister. They will help you.
It may be that your BIL only chose you for making his financial decisions but wants others to make his health decisions. Carefully look over your paperwork and visit the probate court.
You need a lawyer. Sounds like the sister and niece just figured this out. Why did they let you take care of him all those years, then suddenly want to control things?
You need a lawyer ASAP. They probably couldn't get a notary bc they wouldn't make it legal. You can prove he's got dementia. If they try anything, remind the hospital they are not legal papers.
You needd a lawyer.
The whole situation is strange.
In the meantime let them talk. He doesn't have a car. So he won't drive. Don't pay for insurance. Don't pay for anything. Stop if you are. I mean your money. Don't let them bulldoze you into signing anything else.
Just get a lawyer ASAP.
You're not the bad guy here. They are! You don't say how they are treating you, but because they are excising terrible judgement, doing what they want and totally disregarding the doctor ordered medical care he needs. It has to be very hurtful to watch this unfold. POA can be a way to provide the best care for a loved one, or to use as a power tool. Unfortunately with them it's the latter and you may have to relinquish your role.
Best of luck, and God Bless you for being such a caring sister in law.
If BIL was diagnosed with dementia 5 years ago, the POA cannot be valid!
Did the doctor who did the diagnosis fill out a disability form? We had a doctor fill out one for my dad's guardianship hearing. I don't remember the form number or name but it was a general disability form, asking how long the person was expected to be disabled. The doctor thought that was a pretty crazy question under the circumstances: "It's DEMENTIA."
Something to add to your complaint to adult protective services.
Go back to attorney to find out what your legal rights are.
Call Adult Protective Services if you feel this is required.