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A learning experience huh. Same here, I have everything in one place. I have one daughter who is good with finances, she will have my POA. My other daughter is a RN and will be my medical POA. Such a shame that siblings raised together act like this.
It only bothers mw when my little brother acts kind of high and mighty about mom's affairs. When we wanted to move her from one rehab place to another, my sis and I had NO IDEA what was going on, financially. She supposedly had a long term healthcare plan that dad had paid for ages ago so she could be placed in a NICE NH if it ever comes to that. We thought after her hip surgery (she did terribly) that this was exactly what would happen. Sis and I started looking for homes for her, and finally brother states "Oh, there isn't any such policy. We cashed it out years ago"..WTH? I have seen nothing but her DNR papers, which hang prominently in her home. Neither brother will discuss anything with us. Mother also won't. I am sure when she passes there will be some anger and resentment, and it doesn't need to be that way. I have apt an executrix to my estate and all 5 kids know everything they need to know. I hate being put in the position of being a "little lady" who can't possibly understand what's going on. I don't care about what money there is..it's obvious there isn't any. One of the POAs did say "You won't be able to buy a cruddy used car with what's being left to you". My older brother (now deceased) took well over $100K from my parents when he was alive. Youngest sister took $60-75K. They're not in the will, supposedly, but I won't know until mom dies. This is just teaching me the wrong way to do things, so I won't botch it with my estate.
A POA is not going to help you with this information. It just says the POA has the right to sign checks, do banking, sell the house, etc. It also does not give the person who is the POA the right to know what is in the will unless like me at the time the POA was done Mom redid her willbecause Dad had died. At the time of death, the POA is revoked and the executor takes over. Doesn't have to be one and the same. Looks like the "boys" were put in charge so u may not need to do anything. If funeral is prepaid, I would assume that your Mom told the funeral director what she wants. So sorry that you r being shut out. Doesn't seem right. I'm POA and Executor because I'm the closest.
Midkid58...yes it is "weird and wrong" for you and others to be kept out of the information loop. I have a control freak sister whom wants to rule everything in our family and keep secrets from my brother (the oldest) and me. I've finally figured out, she wants to eliminate interferance from us, especially concerning my 89 year old father. He's very healthy, lives at home, drives, mows etc. But, she is pushing my father to name her medical-POA (would be effective immediately) and a Living Will where she is named as the only person to make decisions for him (end of life). After an over zealous and manipulative approach by my sister towards my mother's health care, her final days...there is no way I want her making all the decisions or the only decisions for my father. But, it took the botched experience with, what turned out to be, my mother's final care, for me to see what was going on. (My mother, God love her, turns out, was a sacrificial lamb.) Don't want the same thing to happen with my father.
So, my advice to everyone is don't assume that your siblings/relatives are handling things correctly or fairly. Ask questions, inform yourself of the laws and legalities in your state....prepare. If somthing smells funny...it probably is. Be the advocate for your loved one.
This has been interesting to read. My brothers co-hold mother POA. Neither of them will tell any of us "girls" anything about Mother's estate. We don't care about the money, we want to know what her final funeral and burial plans are, as we will likely be the ones who have to organize and coordinate that. My dad set this up years ago and the boys act like it's a state secret. I wonder how many people go through this exact thing. I do know that she has it all pre-paid, which is nice to know, but that's ALL I know. I'm not concerned enough to go check with an attorney, but I think it's weird and wrong for all of us "girls" to not know anything.
Your rights may be different depending upon the state the principal lives in, but in Massachusetts you have no right to see the power of attorney document. You might check property records or probate records to see if it was recorded anywhere (for example, if the attorney-in-fact transferred or sold the principal's real estate). You should ask your uncle if a successor attorney-in-fact is named on the document. That person should be aware that he or she would take over if your uncle were incapable of serving.
i would contact an attorney like someone suggested to find out how to get a copy. in my husbands family there were originally 3 people on as POA of their mother, then all of a sudden when something happened, 2 of them found out that there was now only 1 person on, they don't know how that happened. But my theory is that the 1 person had their mother sign a new one (which should never had happened due to her mental state) which took the other 2 off. And of course this 1 person is greedy, does everything as cheap as possible and even benefited thru the years of taking from parents and never paying back. its a shame because it has caused hard feelings in the family.
I've never heard of MDPOA. In NY, it's called Health Care Proxy and it gives the proxy the right to make medical decisions. In order for the proxy to kick in, the subject has to be unable to make their own decisions. Not so with POA. As soon as that POA is signed, the agent has the right to act on the subject's behalf when it comes to all financial matters, bank accounts, securities, insurance policies, real estate, and safety deposit boxes.
MDPOA can include tye right to determine place of residence. Too bad my mom's POA included the right for the POA to determine place of residence and did just that. Never would my mom want to be where she is. I had to just let it go, had been fighting sib POA for four years to try to keep mom at home, mom made a terrible decision in her appointment.
Maybe the right to choose residental situation varies from state to state.
I guess the real question is, what is your uncle trying to do with the supposed PoA? Is he trying to access mom's bank accounts (he'd have to produce the document for the bank in order to do that). Is he trying to make health care decisions for her? He'd have to show it to the doctor's office in order to do that, and Mom would have to be considered too impaired by her physician to make her own decisions.
If you can give us more information, we can give you better answers.
With POA, Uncle CANNOT determine where mom lives; you have to have guardianship or conservatorship for that.
Just because someone says they have POA doesn't mean they have it. I would be asking myself why he won't show it to me if he really does have one.
If you know who mom's atty is, contact him. He won't tell you if he did one for your mom, or show it to you, but he can surely tell you hoe to get a court order forcing him to produce it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
So, my advice to everyone is don't assume that your siblings/relatives are handling
things correctly or fairly. Ask questions, inform yourself of the laws and legalities in your state....prepare. If somthing smells funny...it probably is. Be the advocate for your loved one.
Maybe the right to choose residental situation varies from state to state.
If you can give us more information, we can give you better answers.
With POA, Uncle CANNOT determine where mom lives; you have to have guardianship or conservatorship for that.
If you know who mom's atty is, contact him. He won't tell you if he did one for your mom, or show it to you, but he can surely tell you hoe to get a court order forcing him to produce it.