My mom has not passed urine or had a bowel movement in 4/5 days but today her pamper was wet. Do people come out of end of life diagnosis. She ate 3/4 tsps of ice cream tonight but seemed to have stomach pains after. Could have been gas. She seems better than Sunday, Monday when the docs said she is on end of life and we will do everything to keep her comfortable. When I was leaving her tonight, after telling her we all loved her and she has done a good job with us and it was ok for her to go to sleep, she said yes I am ready to take a snooze now. She hasn't said that before.
I think nurses and doctors see when the end is very near. Do some people surprise us and last awhile longer? Sure, some do. It’s tough knowing exactly when.
I personally feel that the dying person knows when their time of death is approaching. I am not sure how or why though.
I just know shortly before my daddy died he started apologizing for any mistakes he had made and asked for forgiveness. He also told me that he was very proud of me.
I was sad. I told him that all parents and children make mistakes and there was nothing to forgive because he was a wonderful father to me. I was not present at the moment of his death.
Many times we hear of people dying shortly after relatives leave the room which is exactly what happened when my brother died.
I told my brother that I knew he was ready and to give daddy a hug and kiss from me when he saw him. I walked out and went to my car.
I had just started the engine when the hospice nurse called to say he was gone. It happens so often that I don’t think it is a coincidence.
Is your mom waiting to see someone? My brother hung on until his children arrived from several states away. He perked up when he saw them and I swear to you the day before he was at death’s door.
It’s amazing how strong the will to live can be. Then, he went into a coma. I asked the nurse if he could hear me. She said yes, so I was speaking to him just before he died.
I have not been with anyone at the precise time of death and I don’t know if I would handle it well.
My brother’s social worker said that he wasn’t afraid to die and knew that he was fiercely independent and may rather die alone and not want to hurt anyone if we had been present at the exact moment he died.
I found the hospice nurses, social worker and clergy to be very compassionate and comforting to my brother and my entire family.
Your mother may rally. Or it may be that her being more alert and enjoying her ice cream today was a sign that she is relaxing into the last stages of life. I should try to focus as tightly as you can on her comfort and wellbeing (which is exactly what you did!) and let the questions go.
Is mom on Hospice? If so they can give you more information about these stages. If mom is not on Hospice you might want to give them a call trust me when I tell you that they will be of great help to you and to your mom.
There is a great pamphlet you can read on line called Crossing the Creek it explains a lot in a very clear insightful way .