Last night it was the same ol' same ol' feeling once again like an outsider in my own home. I have multiple health issues, too many to list in fact. And, if I did u probably wouldn't believe me. I've pushed myself well passed the breaking point both mentally and physically. The furniture gets more attention and acknowledgment than myself. I suppose it's because my family refuses to "accept" my dysfunction. I see a therapist and at one point voluntarily signed myself into a psychiatric hospital. Helped a bit but not for long. Last night it got so bad that I tried to kill myself by "accidentally" over dosing on my blood pressure meds in order to get my pressure to bottom out and stop my heart. I guess my pressure was too high at the time? Cuz here I am. Imagine my disappointment. What am I supposed to do? Can anybody hear me?
Angel
It sounds like the members of your household needed a wake up call. Thank you for promising not to try suicide again! That might wake them up, but it wouldn't do you any good, and you are very worth getting your needs met. I hope less drastic but very firm measures will get their attention, too.
We say we need help but we keep going, we do it again and again and it is like the little boy calling WOLF. Then when things get really bad, no one listens and we have to have a screaming fit for anyone to hear us. It just makes you crazy!
I was seriously sitting there the other day wondering if I could check myself into the hospital for exhaustion, because I am, but also because everyone else would have to deal with the crap and I wanted them to feel my pain!
Theresa, you have so much to give, you really do....you are a special blessing to us all!!!
Paula
ALZ
Depression and suicide are serious things. Today, you might feel okay, but if you had tried to kill yourself, it DOES matter and you probably, sadly, might do it, again.
Rather than write to a group like this, is there some way you can get into a suicide support group, locally? I think to have people are you who are supportive might be something you could try.
As for your promise not to try that, again, I hate to be so negative, but that's what everyone says. Once again, I don't know your situation or you, personally, but I really want to urge you to find some way to get something that will hep you in an ongoing manner and that isn't going to come from anyone in your household, but from the outside, it sounds like, so I hope you will find the motivation to do this one thing for yourself to make sure you get support and help.
I have to do what is going to make me feel validated and stop relying on others to do it for me. Thank you very much for the wakeup call. I do hope my life experience can help others. That helps me. Even though I'm a mere 48 years old, I feel I've lived many lifetimes. hugs to all and you'll continue to try and answer and help others on this site when I believe I can help. xoxo
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