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This is so difficult. I have been making hard decisions re. my Mom. Get a good Elder Care Attorney and they will help you with the process. When I did thids with my Mom in August, I did not say a word & the attorney knew just how to express it. She could barely sign her name and is also weak like your mom seems to be. I had to face the inevitable DNR orders just yesterday as well. The ICU nurse took over the explaination & did beautifully. I is terrible & if you are an önly child it is somewhat harder. Hang in there & will pray for your situation.Karen
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Sounds like you should be getting a guardianship, not a power of attorney. Since she can't write her own name you would be better off with a guardianship. She will have to go in front of a judge but if she refuses you will get the guardianship anyway. Just go to any elder attorney.
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She does not need to sign her name, an X is sufficient, but she
needs to voluntarily do this before two witnesses. If she won't agree, you will need to pursue guardianship through legal services.
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Is their someone she will listen too? All your mother needs to do is to be able to make an X with two people singing to witness they saw her make that x.
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Judy, Can you speak with either your financial institution manager, or an elder care advisor-as what can legally be done..I believe, however, your Mom has to be fully aware of what is transpiring, and like Crowemagnum suggested, an X is all that is needed. My Mom, when she was at the final stages of AD-she had lost the ability of write as well. So before matters possiibly get worse, you want to do this A/S/A/P.
Best to you and your family. Hap
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My mother initially refused to sign a POA, until I explained to her that if she did not - Medicaid would get all her money, and her apartment. She than realized it was better for me to have POA than for Medicaid to have her money.
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hmmm, has your mother been officially declared with dementia. Once that happened, my mother was not allowed to sign nuttin. it got into a real tangle when the county sued for conservatorship, my mother herself was not able to sign over POA for health from thieving sister to myself. If she had, then I would haver retained POA for health decisions, the county would have stepped in to protect the estate. Lots of court days, a real mess.
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Oh, if you say your mother is not going to agree to it, then forget the X and the two witnesses. They will witness that she does NOT want to agree to it. Probably having her declared demented by her doctor and going the conservatorship route is the way to go. Be aware that you might have to post a bond to act as her estate conservator. Here in CA the bond is a year's of the subject's earnings.
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Is your mother competent? If she is competent then she will have to agree to the POA. You can ease here reluctance by having the POA only come into effect if and when she becomes incapacitated or incompetent. You can petition the court for conservatorship. I would suggest getting expert legal advice. Get a consult with an attorney who specializes in legal care. As an aside, choose your words carefully. Your question says you NEED to get POA, the best way to say this is that your mother needs someone she can trust to handle her personal and financial affairs and as her daughter make your case as to why you are the best choice.. A POA is needed by someone who cannot handle their affairs and requires that whoever is granted POA to serve their best interest. Good Luck...it won't get easier...
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I know its tough because you dont want to feel or dont want anyone else to feel you are taking advantage of your mom. Dont know how far gone she is, but if she has dementia you really should have started earlier trying to get poa, everyone was correct in saying get an elder attorney but if you are broke like me and cant even afford bus fare half the time (smile) find someone else she would listen to, ie; her doctor, a social worker, friend another relative(if they are even involved), you would be surprised who our parents will listen to other than the actual caregiver. My mom listened to the person at her bank who convinced her I was only there to help her, and trust me parents know when something is wrong they just try hard not to have to give up their independence. I got my forms from staples, went to a notary ho was really nice and talked to mom to make she understood what she was signing. She explained to her almost everything that was on the form. I did not have money to pay an attorney. Good luck to you, it would be a shame if you had to get an attorney or go to court for your own parent
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