Mother eats all day while making things herself, but wont bathe or poop or pee in the bathroom but, or leave the house. She wont bathe herself in the bathtub or shower, she just washes her hair in the sink. She also wont use the bathroom, instead she uses pads and doesnt make it to the bathroom. She hides her pads and denies that she has made a mess and acts like everything is normal. She is constantly lying about her health to doctors and only listens when she is near death and must be taken to the hospital which has happened multiple times. She gave away all her possessions when her house was being foreclosed on. She hoards newspaper for some reason, and writes random words from what i can tell that she sees from the newspaper on mail. I cant tell if this is normal behavior to be expected from 70 year old who has for the most part been a little odd. All of this has been getting progressively worse over 2 years of her moving in after her house getting forclosed on.
Writing words from newspapers, my Dad had done that, even writing down telephone numbers from TV commercials, he was in the beginning stages of Dementia. This became more noticeable in late afternoon and in the evenings.
Hoarding knows no age limit, happens to people young and old.
Not bathing is a sign of some dementia, as there comes a fear of falling in the shower and not liking the water hitting one's skin. Could also be depression.
incontinence can happen to anyone as they mature. The hiding of the pads is unusual. Sounds more like a dementia issue.
Not wanting to leave the house sounds like maybe panic attacks if she is outside or is around a lot of people. Again, that knows no age limit. If it is dementia, the fear of getting lost and not finding her way home.
Those with dementia, at a doctor office, can act quite normal, it's called "showboating", it is amazing how they can do that. But as soon as they are home, the showboating stops.
Look, it is very likely it is time and past time for someone to recognize her inability to manage her own affairs independently. If you are like most of us when this first happened, you have a very steep learning curve ahead of you. One of your options is to find a comprehensive geriatric service at a medical center and accompany her to the visit. Tell them what you have told us. Bring pictures of the home situation. Have their social worker start giving you options for community resources to contact. Look through her bills and paperwork and start collecting account numbers and copies of essential documents you are going to need. You will need healthcare and financial POAs and an estate planner or eldercre law consult may be a move you need to make as well.
She may resist and deny, not perceiving that this is not OK and that things have changed. She may get mad at you and deeply fear losing her independence such as it is. But she needs help. Are there other family members involved, or is it all on you?