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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My mom has dementia and does childlike things that I am constantly correcting her on. It is hard because I don't want to treat her like a child. I can't punish her nor can I put her in timeout? Any suggestions?
I feel your pain. I don't know exactly what you are dealing with, or how you are handling it, so please ignore any wrong assumptions.
First, I had to learn to ignore a lot of WRONG behavior and statements. I am the kind of person who worships "facts" and "the truth." You don't want to tell a story about my childhood, because I will correct every other sentence if you don't tell it "right."
My loved one says things all day long that are not true. Some of it is confabulation, where the brain makes things up to fill in for missing memories. I try very hard not to correct him, unless it will make a difference in something he wants to do as a result. It is hard not to correct him, but it's the right thing to do.
When he does things wrong, again, I try not to correct him unless it will cause damage or danger. I sneak around him and fix things when he is not looking. When I do correct him, I try to let him save face by saying, "Oh, that's new. Let me show you how it works." Or "I've decided that I prefer to do it this other way, if you don't mind."
He constantly picks things up and reads the labels and puts them down. This is annoying, but not dangerous, so I do my best to ignore it.
It's good to remember that our loved ones deserve to have their dignity preserved as much as possible. Good luck.
Jinx is so right! I think it will be better for both of you if you realize there is no real value in constantly correcting her. She may behave like a child, but unlike a child she is not able to learn from your corrections. I'll bet she continues to repeat behavior you've corrected over and over, right? As Jinx says, figure out ways to prevent the dangerous behavior, and try to ignore the rest of it. This may feel vaguely neglectful at first. After all, you are looking after her, so isn't it your responsibility to teach her better behavior? No. Her ability to learn is limited. It is not her fault and it is not your fault.
In my case, I woke up one night to the god awful stench of electrical wires burning, and smoke...I immediately went from dead sleep to panic mode...my mom had left the microwave on for god knows how long and it was fried. I'm grateful we didn't have a fire, because it was sparking and smoking like hell at that point... I just told her flat out that I was in charge of the meals, and I was happy to fix her a midnight snack, but she needed to let me handle it and make it for her, and that she wasn't to touch anything in the kitchen unless I was there. . I had to take control of the situation. I was nice about it, kind of joked a little, but I was clear and firm, too.. I couldn't let her in there unsupervised, and I had to make her understand, ingrain it in her mind by repeating it if she forgot, that I needed to handle meals and cooking and she wasn't to enter my domain... It worked.
i cared for my mother till her last breath and i only presented her with our options. for all appearances sake she was making all the decisions. maybe i was just fortunate to have a genius for a mother despite dementia.
maybe im an idiot and her skewed decisions were still superior to mine. either way, mom never lost control of her home and her day to day decision making.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
First, I had to learn to ignore a lot of WRONG behavior and statements. I am the kind of person who worships "facts" and "the truth." You don't want to tell a story about my childhood, because I will correct every other sentence if you don't tell it "right."
My loved one says things all day long that are not true. Some of it is confabulation, where the brain makes things up to fill in for missing memories. I try very hard not to correct him, unless it will make a difference in something he wants to do as a result. It is hard not to correct him, but it's the right thing to do.
When he does things wrong, again, I try not to correct him unless it will cause damage or danger. I sneak around him and fix things when he is not looking. When I do correct him, I try to let him save face by saying, "Oh, that's new. Let me show you how it works." Or "I've decided that I prefer to do it this other way, if you don't mind."
He constantly picks things up and reads the labels and puts them down. This is annoying, but not dangerous, so I do my best to ignore it.
It's good to remember that our loved ones deserve to have their dignity preserved as much as possible. Good luck.
In my case, I woke up one night to the god awful stench of electrical wires burning, and smoke...I immediately went from dead sleep to panic mode...my mom had left the microwave on for god knows how long and it was fried. I'm grateful we didn't have a fire, because it was sparking and smoking like hell at that point... I just told her flat out that I was in charge of the meals, and I was happy to fix her a midnight snack, but she needed to let me handle it and make it for her, and that she wasn't to touch anything in the kitchen unless I was there. . I had to take control of the situation. I was nice about it, kind of joked a little, but I was clear and firm, too.. I couldn't let her in there unsupervised, and I had to make her understand, ingrain it in her mind by repeating it if she forgot, that I needed to handle meals and cooking and she wasn't to enter my domain... It worked.
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