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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I know who these people are, but yet when I hear from them I think they are sincere, but they are not. I don't respect people who play with my emotions when they know my dysfunction...how do I deal with them????
SharynMarie, I have heard the theory that we keep having the same experience until we learn or master the dynamics. I have read that one can even correct one's handling of these situations in dreams, and/or through hypnosis. You must go deep into your consciousness and figure out why YOU seek out these types. By doing it you are giving yourself another opportunity to resolve it, but you are not adding new components or behaviors to learn the lesson--or however you view the circumstance. You mention your "dysfunction." What does that mean? They are not playing with your emotions; you are not the master of your emotions, or they could not effect you. Learn to read other people's behaviors and avoid those who bother you. I hope this helps. Manipulators suck. xo
It's like wanting your narcissistic mother to finally love you. If you can truly accept that this person will NEVER be trustworthy, and grieve the relationship you hoped for, maybe you can let go.
A different angle would be to think about the relationships in your life that may not be perfect, but are trustworthy. Some of my friends I don't actually love as in have a crush on, because they are not that charismatic, or are a little annoying. But I love them as friends because they are so good, and so good to me, and so reliable.
We are drawn to the sparkly surface, which is natural, but we can learn to rely only on the substance under the surface.
Thank you all for the answers. I have decided that even though I am lonely at times, I will not respond to these two people's emails. They may mean well enough but I really dislike it when people suggest we get together,etc when they have no intentions of doing so. I know they don't want to get together but it still boggles my mind that they will randomly contact me with an email. I get so much support here on this site, but sometimes I am like a puppy wagging my tail. You have all helped me to see that I need to set boundaries with them. Thank you and hugs to everyone!!
sharyn, I have met some of that too. It is very easy via social media and email to forge what seems to be a sincere relationship and then find out that it isn't. There is risk involved. When someone who has sought contact with me proves that they are not sincere, or are troublesome in other ways, I tend to cut off the relationship. Sometimes the risk pays off and sometimes it doesn't. This is true in real life too. I have had similar happen IRL. Then you know! (((((hugs))))
I have had it happen IRL too, but it seems easier to recognize than when you receive the written word (I think that may back to my upbringing with black and white thinking and not being able to read between the lines). Hugs back to you and thank you!!
In real life you have the advantage of reading body language, tone of voice etc. Online you just get written words. I have read that 80% of communication is non verbal, so you are missing a lot of cues when you have only written communication. And there are people who only want an email relationship. I have been emailing one lady regularly for many years and she "laughingly" made a reference to me visiting her. I followed up and she backed off. I guess she is only comfortable with email. I enjoy our correspondence so, I accepted that and we continue to correspond. I tend to be very literal too. :)
Hi Sharynmarie. I understand {{{{{ hug }}}}}. It is NOT you, it is them. I just recently deleted 2 "friends" of many years from email, facebook - everything. I simply got fed up with their invites and no follow-thru. Interestlingly, it was only after their wedding two years ago and my $$$$ spent did their odd behaviour start. I've come to realize they are just Users. So good riddance! AND just recently, I got invited to a wedding by a bride I barely know - I haven't even met her fiance or family or friends! Some people (an euphenism) are truly unbelievable!!!
Evydarling - They have every right to ask. You have every right to say no. I get your point, but I think a weakness of caregivers is that we forget that we don't have to say yes.
Hi sharynmarie - I hope this doesn't sound too far out there, but I believe in law of attraction. The people and things that come into our lives are what we are additional match to. If we want to change what we're attracting, we have to change our vibration. There it's a sweet little book that explains it without dogma. It has the look of a child's book but it isn't. Read about it on Amazon and see if it appeals to you. It's "Sarah and the foreverness of friends of a feather" by Jerry and Esther Hicks. Let me know what you think...
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
A different angle would be to think about the relationships in your life that may not be perfect, but are trustworthy. Some of my friends I don't actually love as in have a crush on, because they are not that charismatic, or are a little annoying. But I love them as friends because they are so good, and so good to me, and so reliable.
We are drawn to the sparkly surface, which is natural, but we can learn to rely only on the substance under the surface.
They have every right to ask. You have every right to say no. I get your point, but I think a weakness of caregivers is that we forget that we don't have to say yes.
CarolLyn~No it doesn't sound too far out there. Thank you, I will check out the book.