I want to give up power of attorney. I have been caring for my elderly father who is in very poor health and has pretty advanced dementia. He had one leg amputated late last year and could very well lose THE OTHER LEG due to poor circulation. He has been in and out of the hospital for numerous health problems - you name it, he probably has it. Luckily he is retired military and has very good insurance. He broke his hip last year. He no longer qualifies for ANY rehab. This whole situation has been nothing short of a nightmare for my husband and myself. He has applied for medicaid and has been denied before. The last nursing home discharged him when he was in the hospital. The one he is in now is threatening to do the same saying that I have to pick him up in one week if his balance is not paid. He now is awaiting medicaid and lives from paycheck to paycheck and can only make partial payments. Obviously, his pay is not enough to cover the cost of the nursing home. I have no where to put him. He can not live with us because he is very needy and needs constant supervision - also he cannot clim the stairs of our third floor apartment. I think the financial agent at the home is avoiding me. It is like she is giving me an ultimatum, but he has just been there three months, and owes only a little for the two months he could not pay in full. My husband and I have already spent a few thousand on him and cannot continue to do so. No other family members want to help for various reasons. How to do I give up my POA? I can no longer deal with the emotional stress and financial burden. I am afraid of collectors coming after me. Where's the online form for this? Can someone please advise? My father cannot sign anything, so how can I accomplish this without him?
I applied for Medicaid for my dad when he went into a NH and from what I understand the NH cannot kick your dad out if he is in the application process. The Medicaid is retroactive to the day his insurance stopped covering him (this is how it was when Medicare stopped covering my dad). We made partial payments to the NH from my dad's pension and social security while we continued on with the Medicaid application process. We were sent bills for various amounts ($7000, $13,000, etc) from the NH which caused our hearts to stop but as we understood it, as long as he was in the process of applying for Medicaid they could not kick him out. We applied in Jan. of this year and to this date my dad has yet to be approved. He died last weekend so I'd like to see how the NH is going to get their money now, LOL. The application process was a nightmare, by the way. It drove us insane, the NH drove us insane and it was only when we realized that my dad was not going to live much longer did we take the "We don't care anymore" attitude. We did everything we were supposed to do when applying for Medicaid. We tracked down each piece of information they required, we did it all in a timely manner and that was all we could do.
You and your husband should not be held responsible for your dad's outstanding balance at the NH unless you signed something to the contrary. That you are POA doesn't matter. It doesn't make you responsible for his debts at the nursing home or any other debts. My brother paid my dad's NH each month out of my dad's pension and social security and this paltry sum was but a drop in the bucket compared to what my dad owed but it was good-faith money while we waited (and waited, and waited...) for Medicaid to come through.
There are more people here who know so much more than I do on this topic, but I wanted to share with you our experience.
The emotional stress? Well, that is a different matter. Because you are POA, the nursing home, clinic offices, etc. are going to contact you when decisions need to be made. If you refuse to act in that role, will you feel better? (That is a sincere question, by the way. Give some thought to if it would make you feel better or worse if you weren't getting those calls.)
Any competent person can name any one they want to be POA for them, but that doesn't obligate the named person to take on that role. Did your father name an alternate if you could not/would not serve? Who is that person? Is he/she willing to take on the role of decision-maker?
Are you willing to have Dad declared a ward of the state, and have a professional appointed to make decisions for him? Would that reduce your stress, or increase it? (Again, a sincere question.)
Now that you know that being POA does not carry any financial obligations, give careful thought to what would really give you the most peace of mind. If you want to give up the power of attorney, Google Disclaim POA and your state, to find out if there is a form in your state or if a formal letter of resignation is sufficient.
See All Answers