What the heck does my mother want and how do I know what's best? She never tells me anything. Nothing!! When I ask her or suggest things her replies are no, I don't know, or maybe later. She lays around and sleeps or sits. Watches a little TV in the evenings. That's it. What is this ????
I found that it was helpful to have a schedule of things we did. For example on Wednesday she would get her hair done. It was easier to get it shampooed at the salon. Every afternoon at 3 we took a walk. In the mornings, I helped her get dressed at 8 a.m.
Fine things that work and then don't ask, just inform and do. " Good morning Mom, time to get dressed. Here is your tooth brush, brush your teeth" I would brush mine too...the model helped her.
I don't know if any of this will help because your mom has different issues, but I would try it.
Much luck to you.
You say that her health problems are recent and overwhelming for u both.
I would say Mom is suffering from depression. She may not know what she needs or wants. Call her PCP and tell him how she is. He may prescribe an antidepressant.
Once you find out it deppression, then you can work on getting her up and out.