Hello all caregivers out there. My Mom has severe dementia/or alz. She doesnt know me, walk or talk barely but has fabulous facial expressions that show me her sense of humor is still there occasionally. I take 2+ hours each morning and evening feeding her. Inbetween her falling asleep and not wanting to open her mouth, then smiling and loving her bites, then stopping again. Its a vicious cycle of trial and error to get food into her mouth. Today was the worst so I am writing in for suggestions. After reheating her food inbetween her breakfast naps, I barely got one french toast into her. Once 3 hours passed I decided to at least get her fluids in and got her to finally finish 10 oz of decaf tea. Whats this about, do I only feed her if she willingly opens her mouth or keep doing what I am doing, feeding her hours on end? She seems to want to sleep more some days she barely sleeps and will sits with her eyes open staring at the ceiling with occasional outbursts of laughter and chatter to no one, shes a peach :o) Would love any ideas.
First, hugs to you! How every difficult. Then, a few suggestions:
1) Ask her doctor if she is a good candidate for a medication to help her be more alert during the daytime, such as Provigil.
2) Feed her smaller amounts more frequently throughout the day.
3) Try playing some lively music from the era of her youth during mealtimes.
4) If she drinks more readily than she eats, use milk shakes to get both nutrition and liquids in. A scoop of ice cream, a packet of Carnation Essentials (instant breakfast), a few strawberries or other fresh fruit, enough milk to give it a drinkable consistency and you have a meal in a glass. I sometimes used Boost or Ensure instead of the Carnation powder.
5) Realize that she may not need as much food as you do. If she is not losing weight she is probably getting enough.
Enjoy her laughter, even if you have no idea what it is about!
If your mom is not end stage, then she just doesn't make the connection and you will just have to continue on the way you are. Try to feed her soups and other liquid type foods so she doesn't get dehydrated. That will make her act worse. Does she have a UTI? Mom is impossible to feed when she has one.
There is also a product by Nestle called Benecalorie that comes in small cups like coffee creamer. The liquid packs a punch at 300 calories and can be added to food or drink for people that need to put on weight. Most pharmacy stores don't stock it, but can get it for you if you ask.
I am so glad to know I am not the only one dealing with this problem! Everyone I talk to about it looks at me like I'm crazy!!! It's so hard! I hope this info helps you and if you have more questions about it, let me know!