I am an only child and a female. My dad has Alzheimer's and incontinence issues. I have him in strong adult diapers and portable leg/condom catheters but that doesn't help with sudden urges for #2. I don't want to keep him at home but want to get him out of the house. Male companions are not readily available and they are cost prohibitive for long or overnight trips. I had an incident recently where I needed to take him into the mens' bathroom and fortunately 1 man agreed to alert the other patrons but it was still very awkward for me -- any suggestions?
Seriously, as if people can't tell what and why you need to bring your elderly father to the women's room.
That being said in that situation I think I would just put my head round the door and call out." Ladies, gentleman coming through to use the handicapped stall" I think it's only polite to give warning then no one is shocked. I don't fancy the men's side it usually smells!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I was a man escorting a female I would still use the women's side, much more comfortable for the female. A good male shout should alert any timid ladies
I used both the ladies room and the men's room when out with my elderly father. At the time I didn't know which I was supposed to use and we ran into other people in both restroom's but I never ran into anyone who was rude to us, whether I was in the men's room or my dad was in the ladies room. We were treated with respect and understanding smiles. My personal preference became the ladies room. My dad did not object and I found that the ladies rooms tended to be larger, all the better to accommodate my dad's wheelchair. When running into someone I always apologized for taking up so much space, explained that I was helping my father, and that we'd be done in a jiff. My dad thought the ladies rooms were nicer too, which they were.
Great topic.
Kathy Towson here -- I want to thank ALL of you for the great advice and most of all for the on-line support. Reading your responses gave me those good chills to know there's friends out there, which gives me hope during a very difficult time. Thank you ALL from the bottom of my heart and this Thanksgiving, I give thanks for all of you. Happy Thanksgiving and may you all find the strength you've given me. Kathy
I can't imagine taking my dad into a women's room. He would not be comfortable with that, and I would be uncomfortable because of his discomfort. But every family's different.
My dad uses the heaviest of pads now, but when travelling in the big city we have occasionally used a day catheter. We also carry Little John disposable urinals in the car and a water-absorbant pad for the car seat.
Nancy made a wonderful suggestion that I'd definitely go for. If he needs to go he needs to go. Here in NYC a woman taking her Dad into a men's room isn't so odd. Most men will be willing to assist you because this city is one huge social experiment. Somewhere else, even people who aren't using the bathroom will be offended. What matters is your father's comfort and how you feel when fighting for him.
In an emergency, ya do what ya gotta do, the best you can, and everyone lives through it.
His doctor suggested that when he goes out he may want to take a precautionary anti-diarrehal pill to try to avoid such situations and she also assured him that he is not alone and many older persons have similar experiences and while nobody likes them everyone gets through them and life goes on.