The oldest sibling is my target and I honestly don't know why. The other day i finally told her, "if it were you in charge of taking care of Mom, the siblings wouldn't pull the crap on you like not showing up, texting you at work to come home, not feeding or changing Mom etc". I feel bad cause she's my target for some reason. Any suggestions.
I handled my pent up anger totally wrong with my only sib. She lived 3000 mi away and even if she had wanted to participate, which she did NOT and told me many times, she couldn't do it logisically. She could've at least asked me how things were going or send me $5 to buy OUR mom a hamburger but she never did, not one time. Yes, I was right to be angry, tired and frustrated but I should've just acted like she didn't exist because that's what she wanted...not to exist in this caretaking expedition. Now that mom's gone, sis will never talk to me again. I didn't approve of her actions or absence but I still love her. My parents are gone and now my sister is gone. I have no one to share childhood memories. Yes, I have kids and grandkids but the past is gone.
I wish you the best in getting this solved, one way or another. You may not get the outcome you want but at least you can feel good that you tried.