My mother has always been independent but recently she had 2 falls and has been in and out of hospital and rehab facilities for most of this year. She is 89 and insists on living at home despite the fact she is physically not capable. I don't have any siblings to help so have been very busy collecting clothes and things for her hospital stays, driving long distances to visit, taking care of her finances, now shopping etc. She is mentally competent but refuses care givers & said theres no way she'll ever go into a care facility. I work 4 days/week so don't get much time to myself. I'm fed up and burned out and annoyed that I'm expected to do so much. She is grateful but I still feel resentful because my whole life is just work (paid and unpaid). I have depression and anxiety issues which probably make it harder. My husband is supportive but I feel I need to set up some boundaries to protect myself from breaking down and need to stop doing so much. I like reading about others experiences as it makes me feel like I'm not the only one out there.
It's up to you, as it's your choice to how involved you want to be. Put guilt aside and do what is best for yourself. There are resources out there who can and will help her. I hope this helps. I'm not a selfish person but in my case, my parents were very, very manipulative and abusive. They are fine, living their lives. I just set them up with help and stepped back.
Good luck to you. I know it's hard but you can do it.