I just got a copy of the letter the dr. sent to DMV asking that her license be suspended. The case worker told me to get the keys. I know I will be met with resistance and a big scene will ensue. The dr. then suggested removing the battery. I can go early in the morning and do this without them knowing but they may just think someone stole it. I am thinking of calling the police and asking for advice or help. Has anyone ever had experience with this type of situation?
I heard a guy say once that he removed his mother's battery and she called Triple A when her car wouldn't start. They told her the car had no battery. She said well put one in it.
So taking the battery might not work if mom has snap and resources. If you don't think she would do that, you could give her a copy of the letter from the doctor after you remove the battery.
I like the idea of calling the police. I'd like to know what they tell you.
Different people do different things. Some people say that you would be stealing by taking the car or the battery. Do you have POA for your mom?
There are many posts on this site on this subject. You can search elders driving or something similar and get many ideas.
You: YOU get the dam' keys!
What sort of case worker, by the way? Because actually, depending on why she's been assigned to this case, she may be able to do that. Then you can assume an innocent expression and say "oh poor mother - but, tsk, sigh, it's the law, what can you do?"
If so, the driving has to end. If you're not up to mechanical stuff, try and find someone who can help you. There are easier ways to disable a car than removing the battery. Just pull the starter relay. Small fuse /like thing under the hood.
Then make plans to get rid of the car. Mom may get confused with the car still there. And, make the doc the bad guy. Good luck.
If dad is mentally okay, I might try to explain the liability that his wife and him have if she drives and kills someone. Consult with an attorney, but, in most jurisdictions, even if their insurance pays a claim, a victim's estate may go after the personal assets of the driver and her spouse. Check the laws in your state, but, it would be a big concern for me. If your siblings are concerned about inheritance, this might get their attention.
Regardless, the driving will have to stop if the doctor, Social Worker and DMV say so. It may be hard for them to deal with, but, they'll have to accept it. I'd work on getting them alternate transportation.
I went through this with my father. I took him to his doctor and sat there in the room with him. The doctor asked if there were any questions and I told her that he still wants to drive. The doctor responded directly to him and said "No" and then explained why. It has to be done in person and it has to be the doctor telling her she can no longer drive. After this meeting I got rid of his car and there was no further discussion about it.
Have a plan in place to address their transportation needs. You can't just leave them stranded at home. One of our teenagers drives MIL to and from dialysis 3x a week. On the other weekdays, we hired a helper to take them to run errands, out to eat, etc. Husband and I do dr appointments. This seems to be working well.
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