Am I charging my mom too much or not enough for 24/7 care?
My mom, 82 years old, lives with me and my sixteen yr. old son. My husband (recently deceased) and I set her up with her own bedroom, living room, and dining room area in our home (we are fortunate to have a large home). Mom has reached a point where she cannot do much for herself anymore. I take care of all her personal hygiene issues: regular bathroom visits, bathing, changing pads and depends, etc.; I fix her three meals a day plus snacks (she is type 2 diabetic); I do her laundry, clean her living space-although sometimes she can and will help dust; I handle all her finances, set up Dr. appts. and handle all her transportation; I handle all her medications, insuring she has what she needs and dispensing them to her when needed including her blood sugar testing daily. I took early retirement from my job in June this year because mom had reached this point where she could no longer handle her personal hygiene and this was not something my husband (may he rest in peace) could do for her. We have charged her what she was paying in her AL apartment, $1600.00 a month since she first moved in over a year ago, however, she did not require the level of care she does now. I don't want to take advantage of her but at the same time, I don't want to short change myself. I have used some of her monies to add things in the house to make it more elder friendly: i.e. safety hand bars in the bathroom, shower chair, etc. I don't know what home health care costs-I live in Florida if that makes a difference. She receives SS, a retirement pension from her job of 30+ yrs. and a small pension from my dad's second job. She is not wealthy, but not in the poor house yet either.
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You came to the right place. There is so much information you can get from here. Was your Dad in the service? If so, you can get money from the Veterans Benefits.org. It does take a long time to get it though, but they prorate it from the time they recieve it. I don't think that is too much since that was what she is paying at the home. But you know your suppose to pay taxes on the money she pays you. I don't know how they(govt) will find out though. Most home charge $2,000 to $3,000. I hope this helps. Take care of yourself too. It will get worse before it gets better. Hugs to you.