The one biological child who does not like them and is overseas. I have never had a good life with them but now disinherited in favour of their Son. They were all I knew. My husband is dead and I have no children. Changed Will last year and said I would have become a prostitute without them adopting me!!!!
1. Make a written plan.
2. Do not move nearby.
3. Contact the son. Do not allow him to convince you to stay.
4. Move forward with your life.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/narc-mother-abusing-and-disinheriting-me-ripped-up-all-my-photos-and-is-leaving-all-to-son-467851.htm
You received comments on that post. Is your 90yr old Mom able to care for herself? What are her limitations? How long have u been doing the caring and how old are you. You now live in the States?
You need to have a plan. See what resources are available for Mom. Does she have money where she can hire someone to help her? If old enough to still find work, find a job. Where I live there are ads on Facebook every day for job openings. Do you get SS? If so, under 66/67 you can make a certain amount a year. Over those ages you can work as much as you want. I have friends that are 72 still working full-time. Get set up and then find a place you can afford. Once you do that, contact brother and tell him you are done. That she is now his responsibility and you are not going to care for her anymore because...she no longer considers you a daughter. Give him the phone # of APS. Do not give him any of your information. Do not do an address change. Call ur creditors individually and give them ur new address...a PO Box. I say this because when I changed Moms address so her bills would come to my house, all her junk mail followed with my address on it. It only takes a search on the internet now to get ur new address. So, a PObox is safer. Post office is not allowed to give out ur address. Move away from the town she lives in. You owe her nothing.
Yet, if the stuck person didn't ever exist, moved overseas, broke their leg or even just said No, other solutions would indeed be found.
Eg A story told to me that stays with me: Mother with dementia. Refused to move. Dutiful son checked in daily, then twice daily. Brought meals, washed, cleaned, did meds. On call, rushed over for every emergency. Well stuck.
Other family said time for MC or NH. Dutiful son said no.
Family said hire help. Dutiful son said no. She had no-one else, won't accept anyone else.
Dutiful son died of a heart attack. Mother swept up by Social Services, a social admit to hospital, then MC.
I do feel it is a choice.
To choose to be the Captain, going down with someone else's ship. (Like that son)
Or being a Pilot reaching for your oxygen first so you can breathe & land the plane.
If you choose to be the Pilot, tell people! Find out who can advice you. Most importantly Take Action. Thinking & talking about landing a plane won't do it. The right advice & action will.