Sometimes my 90 year old father is completely with it (even after his not-seriously-debilitating stroke two months ago) and other times, he is confused. Should I be concerned about this? Or is this just something I should accept as a normal part of aging?
Some conditions like UTI can cause a change in mental status. Is he in the home with you or elsewhere. Normally, the staff at an assisted living or nursing home keep aware of this and will order a test to see if they have an infection.
You say that he is completely with it on some days. I would ensure his affairs are in order so that if the functioning increases, you have the ability to act on his behalf. Make sure you know what he wants regarding his future medical care.
We also have a PSW that already visits him in the ALF in the morning and the evening to help him in and out of the shower and to change his clothing (so he is used to that now) and we will just transfer that service to the condo. I spoke with Lifeline from Phillips this morning about the auto alert necklace. Luckily, the ALF insisted on his wearing a similar product in the home, so he is now accustomed to wearing that as well! Did you know that the Lifeline necklace can be worn in the shower or bath? Although he will have help getting in and out of the shower each day from his PSW, if he chooses to shower without help - and then slips - the auto alert will help him. I don't know about where you live, but the PSW (one hour per day) is paid for through our provincial government in Canada (lucky for now!).
I do keep having pangs of second thoughts about our choice to try going back home, but your sensible advice inspires me to stick with the plan. And you are right to remind me to "plan past immediate needs". Great advice. Thanks!
Granted, it sounds like you have a good pan in place and that he will have helpers coming in to bathe and cook for him.
I would have them as well as his family really observe the mental state, because if it is dementia, he may not be that reliable to report how he's doing. He may say he eats when he doesn't, take meds when he doesn't, etc., Does he have someone to administer medication daily?
I support doing anything within reason to make him happy.
I wish you and your dad the best. Let us know how it works out.