She has been combative refusing meds and food. Stays in bed all day so she doesn’t have to be with her caregiver, who is very good to her. Had to send her to the hospital because she became combative. She is alone at night and should not be due to dementia and physical inability. The hospital was refusing to admit her to the hospital and help with nursing home placement. I refused to take her and there is no one else. She is also physical abusive. What do I do if they can’t place her? She has no income except SS and no home or property. Mentally I can’t care for her due to her constant verbal abuse. Help!
She may likely require a full psych eval and then appropriate meds to keep her level, if that's even possible.
No, you shouldn't have to take her in esp when she's verbally abusive.
In the hospital right now? Let the SW and all that may be involved that she is NOT capable of going home and you cannot/will not care for her. This kind of thing happens ALL THE TIME. We are currently kind of holding our collective breath that my MIL will fall again and end up in the hospital and from there, this time, she cannot be allowed home. Too wobbly, SO angry and mean & delusional. No one is allowed in her home--she's now down to her daughter coming everyday to do for her. Daughter is all but collapsed from stress.
It's going to be ugly, put on a thick coat of emotional armor and go in with the toughest 'you' you can be.
Good luck.
Don't listen to the platitudes of "We will get you help" and "we can make this work" because they will not be able to get sufficient help and cannot make it work. Do not elaborate on the "WHY" but stick to you are not mentally or physically able to care for her in the home.
This forces the hand of the Social Workers who WILL find her placement that you never COULD find for her. If your mom is currently undiagnosed this will also result in a full neuro-psyc exam and diagnosis.
I am assuming of course that you do not live in her home.
If they discharge her to her home DO NOT participate in her care. She should have the number for 911 at the bedside and can be readmitted by caregiver or self.
They will do all they can to get your Mom OFF their responsibility and on to yours. Clearly care for her by you is now impossible.
They may make your Mom a ward of the state if you refuse care; let them would be my advice. The State fiduciary can assist in diagnosis, placement, registration for medicaid and etc. just as though no children ever existed.
Being POA or guardian for this woman will be a true nightmare, going forward. It will either be someone else's nightmare, or yours, imho.
I hope you were able to stand your ground and say no to her coming home. I don't see any way you can care for her and there is no way she should be alone.
Such a tough situation. Hope things are improving!