I need some advice on how to approach the ALF staff with issues. They are so kind, but stretched beyond belief. I am concerned about a few things and feel like I am heaping on more to an already heavy burden. Regardless, I need to address the issues for my mom. Any suggestions on the best way to get my point across without sounding like I am accusing? They do many things very well and are trying very hard. These are significant enough that I can’t ignore them. My first obligation is to be my mom’s advocate. Any advice is appreciated.
The Executive director and the care coordinator would contact me quarterly for our meetings when mom was in Memory Care. When covid hit, we'd meet by phone instead of in person. It served a two way purpose, they could tell me how they felt mom was doing and if she needed anything more than she was getting, and I could tell them my perceptions about how I thought she was getting along and what she needed. The meetings lasted about 40 minutes or so.
Don't feel like your voice shouldn't be heard because they're overworked......you are not getting a reduced rate due to their short staff issue, right? If they want to operate a facility short staffed, fine, then they'll be expected to run it fully and professionally, and that includes addressing your concerns and fixing the issues that exist. If they can't manage to do that, then close up shop. It's that simple.
Good luck!
In our case they were housed in the same building, but services were quite different, and communication was as well.
BECORE COVID, I had easy access to the administrator, nursing specialist, and on-floor staff. Later, I called with questions, and was almost always connected right from the switchboard.
I actually asked when LO was admitted what the chain of communication was, and was given the numbers for social services, nursing, and the contact on the floor.
Hope things clear up for you soon.
The one thing I complained about was the way my Moms bathroom was left. I guess she had an accident while showering her. It was on the shower chair and the floor of the shower. The dirty washcloth was thrown in the sink. I had left Clorox wipes for clean ups. Another time, she had an accident in bed. The only reason I knew it was because I went to make her bed because it hadn't been made. When I picked up the comforter, they had used it to cover the mess. So the comforter was soiled too. Even though I did her wash, accidents were suppose to be washed by them.
At my daughter told me "pick ur battles". And I am surprised they don't have care meetings at least ever 3 months. Even though private facilities they do answer to the State.
Wishing you the best of luck with this.
I see so many people post that they see staffing issue and have empathy that employees are stretched to far. With that said, there is also the obligation for the facility not to house more patients than they can properly care for. That has been a historical problem with facility care - they fill all the rooms, but have seldom had enough people on payroll to properly care for patients.
I even learned that for licensing purposes, one facility near me keeps a large sign in front of the building that says they are hiring. People fill out applications all the time but are never put to work. If an issue comes up that resulted because of staffing shortage, the facility has the appearance of doing 'what they can' to hire people. Preadmit, was told they had X number of employees per wing, or each person on the wing cares for 4 patients. When you're walking around looking at the facility to make a decision, you have no idea how many people are on that floor at any given time. Once you put the patient in, you find out it's really 1 person for 15 beds on each shift....but....they claim to be trying to hire more. Facility care is scary.
As it is my husband has a bad relationship with his mother and I don’t like her either. She is exceedingly combative, has several mental illnesses and recently dementia added to it. We struggled to help her after my husband’s father passed 2 years ago. She wanted to move in with us but refused to give up her dog which was not house trained. I did not want my house to turn into her hoarder house smelling of urine and feces and full of fleas.
My husband and I both asked th ALF to provide a psychiatrist or neurologist for her. They said we would have to take her to the neurologist or psychiatrist. We said we could not because she is uncooperative. Once out of the facility, she would refuse to return. She would not cooperate with any doctor unless they come to her.
The facility says she refuses to assist in keeping her room clean and that the dog continues to relieve himself all over the room. We have told them that they are in charge and that they have the experience to deal with people like her and that her room can be forcibly cleaned by either moving her and the dog to the bathroom or the courtyard.
The dog needs to be groomed. We found a groomer. The groomer arrived on a day the RN wasn’t there. She will have to return. The agreement with the RN is that if my MIL doesn’t cooperate, the dog has to go. It would be devastating to her, but it has been bad for her health to live in those conditions. The dog is in bad shape and it is animal cruelty.
I just wish it hadn’t come to this point. I had asked about the anti-anxiety medication she was receiving and didn’t think the dosage was high enough for her to function properly. She’d become more reclusive. There was less communication.
My husband is unconcerned and said he didn’t want her sent into insensibility. I said the issues isn’t that but her uncooperative nature with the staff means there are still problems. Now she will lose her dog.
So I bug him to call. She is his mother. I would not want to be in her shoes, but it is difficult to deal with her and distance makes it harder. So I understand the communication issues.
Why did the nurse have to be there for the dog groomer? Can the groomer do it in the room/bathroom?
As for psychiatrist, that is the best person for prescribing the correct dosage. Docs can, but a lot of time it can be woefully too little.
They have docs that do home visits. Call up and ask for the names. Then ask if they schedule or should you. Then go from there.
Good luck
1 - Start by telling them how much you appreciate them... (be specific).
2 - Condense your requests to 3 crucial items that need to improve.
3 - Thank them again for being there and caring,
Send a letter using "compliment sandwich" approach to administration and give copy to nurse in charge of your loved one.