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Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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A rational thinking 81 year old probably wouldn't haunt dating websites to begin with much less give out her address to strange men. You have to be the parent here. Put parental controls on her computer. You can do this from the control panel on the computer.
patti, I think the best thing for an elder to do if looking for someone to date is check out her old high school graduating class on the website Classmates. Then that way she would have some idea who the person is, and they can start communicating via email slowly. Then via telephone. Finding a common theme [such as their old high school] is a great start.
It's funny, the guys who wouldn't give you a second glance when in high school are now mature, been married, now widowed or divorced, and ready for that second glance :)
Computer savvy 81 year old -- I love it. Is she ill? Do you live with her or does she live with you? If she is self-sufficient, semi-independent and no one else lives with her, I don't know. She's 81. I say if she wants a little spice in her life, let her. But I would definitely ask her or really reiterate how important it is for ANYONE at ANY age to not give out their home address. I think it's healthy to meet other people, but maybe not so young.
Can't help but think it's kinda cute (although dangerous). Just do it with caution. And like Eyerishlass said, maybe some monitoring may be required and parental controls if this is getting out of hand.
My mother is 76 years old, uses a Macbook and floats around Facebook (lurks more like it) --- and she does scroll around looking for men her age, but never quite acts upon it.
I think it is a very dangerous situation. Often the elderly are attacked, robbed or worse by a causal acquaintance. They can be easily manipulated, coned and robbed of their life's savings. If she is not able to recognize the risks that are inherit in her behavior, someone may need to step in to protect her. Does she have a POA? It would be a shame if she got hurt or loses money over something so innocent in her mind. I wouldn't ignore it.
My minor son found a dating site, met some "girls", friended them on facebook, and then they friended all his family. That new friend tried to blackmail us, asking for money or they would report son doing something illegal and have him put in jail. If *I*, a savvy 40-something can be almost tricked by this scam, do you think an 81 year old would be tricked by a scamster?
We took down son's profile (which of course listed him as 18), changed the profile address on that site to a new email that is specifically for junk and never checked, and let me tell you - the site sold his info to other scammers around the web. There is not a day that goes by that he does not have ads from other dating sites come to the original email. He no longer has access to that email since Mama changed the password. He has a shiny new one, and I monitor the old one and send him things from people he actually knows in the flesh.
My suggestion - reel in mom with this story. Tell her these people are nice people, but "Not Our Kind Dear!" Get her a new email, promise to monitor her old one and send her the real important ones, and change the password so only you know it. I know that will be tough, but it must be done. Better now than after someone has shown up at the house to get a suitcase full of unmarked bills to rescue a non existent great grandchild in trouble in Central America!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It's funny, the guys who wouldn't give you a second glance when in high school are now mature, been married, now widowed or divorced, and ready for that second glance :)
Can't help but think it's kinda cute (although dangerous). Just do it with caution. And like Eyerishlass said, maybe some monitoring may be required and parental controls if this is getting out of hand.
My mother is 76 years old, uses a Macbook and floats around Facebook (lurks more like it) --- and she does scroll around looking for men her age, but never quite acts upon it.
Good luck!
We took down son's profile (which of course listed him as 18), changed the profile address on that site to a new email that is specifically for junk and never checked, and let me tell you - the site sold his info to other scammers around the web. There is not a day that goes by that he does not have ads from other dating sites come to the original email. He no longer has access to that email since Mama changed the password. He has a shiny new one, and I monitor the old one and send him things from people he actually knows in the flesh.
My suggestion - reel in mom with this story. Tell her these people are nice people, but "Not Our Kind Dear!" Get her a new email, promise to monitor her old one and send her the real important ones, and change the password so only you know it. I know that will be tough, but it must be done. Better now than after someone has shown up at the house to get a suitcase full of unmarked bills to rescue a non existent great grandchild in trouble in Central America!