One daughter is planing to move to Florida to care for my wife (87) who had a stroke. She would move in with us and we woulld pay her and suppoert her. I feel we should have an agreement in writing and I do not know where to start. where do i get advise on Medicare, taxes, etc?.
It is great that your daughter wants to come to help take care of her mother, but I wasn't wondering if you are able to pay your daughter, couldn't you pay an agency caregiver or a caregiver who is self-employed? These women are highly trained for all types caregiving issues. It's not their first rodeo.
Is your daughter a senior citizen? Why I ask, once we [grown child] become a senior ourselves we run into our own age decline, aches and pains, etc. And being a caregiver at that age will age her drastically depending on how long she will be living with you. Believe me, I know :(
These are things one needs to address.
From what you wrote, it sounds to me like everyone will benefit from what you're doing. Please remember to write your daughter in some vacation days, so she can enjoy some respite time. Good luck getting everything working smoothly. The first time doing the paperwork will be challenging, but it is easy from there.
Unfortunately, we Did Not implement these recommendations I say to you, and have paid a steep price, as we Never get time away, which has led to some deep resentment. It's difficult to go backwards, when you get stuck in a rut! And now trying to change things up, makes it very difficult to have honest conversations especially with my FIL, who is now beginning down the road of probable dementia, he is certainly becoming forgetful, and has requires assistance with ADL's, meal preparations, and of course management of all of his medical and financial issues.
I helped to take care of both my parents, through several very difficult years of very trying illnesses, until they passed away. Thank God I was one of 6, who were all on the same page, who had healthy and loving relationships with our folks, and we all had the same desires to keep them together, and out of a nursing home. Even with 6 of us, it was difficult, so respect that at some point, this job caring for your wife, may become more than she alone can handle, even with your help. Good luck, and I hope your wife's health, continues to improve and that your situation works out for all parties!
No criticism of caregiving, but it doesn't offer that same level of support, and it is frustrating and confining. There's also quite a difference from being a respected worker/co-worker, offering services to clients or others in a corporate department, and finding one's primary interaction outside the family to be medical people, not all of whom are as sophisticated as they could be. But there's also the fact that the services provision status is reversed. Your daughter would be the client, not the provider, when dealing with medical people. That can take a lot of adjustment.
However, it's good that you recognize the need for a caregiver contract and for payment. It would be a good idea as well to factor in some relief time, vacation time, and back-up support if your daughter begins to burn out.
I'm not criticizing you; just offering some opinions from someone who's really missing working in the field of my choice and tired of dealing with poorly run medical practices and inefficient staff.
This way if you need to apply for medicare these expenses will be approved as legitimate expenses...
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/personal-care-agreements-compensate-family-caregivers-181562.htm
cetude, in our case, taxes would be a lifesaver for the caregiver who would otherwise have no ss to fall back on if the patient did not pay them.
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