To me, being a caregiver is a two-way street. If the person you are caring for is capable of, but choosing not to care for his/herself, then should you really continue to put the effort in despite their requests for your assistance and their spoken desire to heal and move forward? Based on some recent actions (that are in line with their past unhealthy actions) of the person I am helping I really want to walk away and leave them on their own. However, as this is my mother and the grandmother of my son it is a heartwrenching decision.
I understand that it is ultimately my decision and a very personal one as I have all the information (which is far too much to put here) but would like to hear from others whom have had these feelings or are going through similar situations at the moment. Thank you.
As my therapist had said, my parents made their choice not to move into a retirement village [they could have easily afford it].... thus my parents have to live with the choice they made. I was never part of the discussion.
The more I think about it, when I get to my parents age, who am I going to call? I am an only child and have no children. Will I starve? Will I never see another doctor again? Of course not, I will find a way to do these things. I am sure my parents could do the same if they tried.
Another thing I need to remember, I am not a *professional caregiver*.... I can't lift my parents if they fall.... I hate to cook so I don't think my parents would want toast for breakfast, and peanut butter & jelly for lunch or dinner.... and I hate housework. If they want the house clean, hire someone, they can afford it.
And I plan to continue to keep my outside job. My Dad never left his job to care for his parents, and my Mom never moved close to her parents to care for them. Why should I stop my life when they didn't?