My husband has trouble walking and gets into the bathroom in time to pee all over the floor and his clothes. He wears jeans with a belt and will not use a pad. Lots of clothes, rugs and towels to wash. I have asked him to try sweats that don't take so much time to unbutton and unzip. He refuses and says he will try harder not to spill. I hid his jeans yesterday and he is angry. What else can I do?
I keep a basket in front of the toilet and keep it filled with Depends, flushable wipes and toilet paper. You may want to keep a copy of his favorite magazine there, too, to make it look "normal." At bedtime and morning, I place a piece of paper on top of the pile that says, "Please change your Depends." It's working at my house!
(I also put out notes at morning and night both at the sink and at Mom's bed, where I place her clothes/pajamas, so she doesn't have to keep asking, "What do I do now?")
Besides keeping an eye on times he might want to go, I put the bed pads in front of his chair, and in the bedroom I put a plastic tablecloth (securely fastened to the floor to prevent tripping) over the carpet. He only had a few steps from the bed to the bathroom. Accidents still happened, but are much easier to clean.
Once he was totally bedridden, he still would try to push his Depends aside to urinate. For some reason, to wet his pants was something that went totally against his grain, although the dementia stole everything else from him; even the ability to feed himself. It is frustrating, yes, but also heart breaking to see your once so active and intelligent husband in this condition.
It is not easy, but try to be patient and loving. I know what you are going through and my thoughts are with you.