My Mom (85) has early stages of dementia. I have an appointment with the lawyer since last week she said that it would be a good idea. When I told her about the appointment, she sees no need since my name is on the checking account and I can pay the bills if needed. She has an old durable healthcare POA from another state that states my Dad (who has passed away) has the POA and I am the first alternate. Please advise me.
My mother said she didn't trust me, so wouldn't make me financial POA. Her attorney also doesn't want to make me POA. He talks of horror stories of children who have POAs. I personally think her attorney is a bit nutty. My name is on her checking and savings account, so if I wanted I could have taken most of her money without a POA.
Not having financial POA doesn't bother me, because POA is something we do for them. It isn't something they do for us. My brother has a springing POA that will come into effect if my mother becomes incapacitated. He has already told me to do things that are needed and he'll sign off on them, so I don't think there will be any problem.
I have my mother's healthcare POA. I guess you can say she trusted me with her life, but not her money. :)
If your mother is reluctant to have POAs, talk to her about getting a springing financial POA when she does her advanced directives. If she won't do her advanced directives, there is nothing you can do. Many parents do not realize that these things are done FOR the parent so they can be cared for.