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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Been there, tried it, gave up and decided to just focus on safe home stays. This issue borders on the level of responsibility an adult child has vs. how strong the elderly person can be in insisting on his/her own way, and how much the adult child wants to push the issue or find a compromise.
For the time being, focus on getting help in the house, make the house safe, create backup systems and procedures, but privately keep track of issues that could be more safely addressed if they moved to a facility. If either of your parents eventually raise the issue of moving, you can refer to the past issues to help guide them to making their own decision.
In the meantime, don't feel uncomfortable about reaching out to possible assistance on their behalf. I'm thinking of Meals on Wheels, private duty nurses or in-home care, creating an alert system with the neighbors, etc.
We had to let my mother decide, in her own timing. She spent years talking about selling her house and moving to an apartment in a community. We had the kind of situation FF described. When she finally decided to do it, she was 84 yrs. old and had a couple of falls, trips to ER and other problems. She should've done it much earlier, because her age, her confusion, and health problems at the time she did it made it difficult. She said if she had known how stressful it was going to be to move, she would never have done it. It was a very stressful ordeal for all of us. If her house had a full bathroom and bedroom on the ground floor, she would still be living there. It came down to that.
But during the years she talked about moving, we showed her different communities and helped her downsize her possessions. So when she did decide to move, she had some idea of what was out there (she rejected a lot, drove me crazy) and there wasn't much left in her house to clear out. You could start there.
helphelp, what is the medical or mobility situation with your parents? What type of house do they live in, are the bedrooms upstairs? Do they need help during the day?
Good luck in trying to convince parents to leave their house and move into something more elder friendly.... it's like talking to a brick wall... my parents [who were in their 90's, both fall risk] their stock answer was always "we can manage".
Usually the only way to get parents to have a wake up call is for a medical emergency to happen, and sometimes that doesn't work. Usually the 2nd or 3rd 911 call where a parent has to stay in the hospital, then move to Rehab for a couple of weeks, then that parents may, or may not, decide it's time to move.
It took my Mom having a very serious fall where she spent her last 3 months of her life having to live in long-term-care. While she was there, I was able to bring in caregivers to help my Dad, as he was more then happy and could afford the caregivers. My Mom had always refused them in the past. After my Mom passed, two weeks later Dad said he was ready to move to senior living, and he did... whew !!
I remember my parent's primary doctor telling my Dad [at that time in his early 90's] he should use an alert pendant, but he said "that's for old people".... I said to the doctor guess my Dad will wait until he is 100 to get one :P
Dad didn't want to spend the money as he proudly said that he would tell my Mom he is going outside so she will keep a lookout. Oh dear, Mom was now legally blind and was almost deaf... yeah right, a good lookout... NOT.
I lost count how many times my Dad fell face down in the mulch or dirt, and it wasn't until a neighbor saw him that the neighbor would try to get Dad up or try to get my Mom's attention [Mom couldn't hear the doorbell or anyone knocking]. Usually Dad could give the neighbor my telephone number. This whole thing was so ridiculous, but my folks were still of clear mind, or so I had thought.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
For the time being, focus on getting help in the house, make the house safe, create backup systems and procedures, but privately keep track of issues that could be more safely addressed if they moved to a facility. If either of your parents eventually raise the issue of moving, you can refer to the past issues to help guide them to making their own decision.
In the meantime, don't feel uncomfortable about reaching out to possible assistance on their behalf. I'm thinking of Meals on Wheels, private duty nurses or in-home care, creating an alert system with the neighbors, etc.
If her house had a full bathroom and bedroom on the ground floor, she would still be living there. It came down to that.
But during the years she talked about moving, we showed her different communities and helped her downsize her possessions. So when she did decide to move, she had some idea of what was out there (she rejected a lot, drove me crazy) and there wasn't much left in her house to clear out. You could start there.
Good luck in trying to convince parents to leave their house and move into something more elder friendly.... it's like talking to a brick wall... my parents [who were in their 90's, both fall risk] their stock answer was always "we can manage".
Usually the only way to get parents to have a wake up call is for a medical emergency to happen, and sometimes that doesn't work. Usually the 2nd or 3rd 911 call where a parent has to stay in the hospital, then move to Rehab for a couple of weeks, then that parents may, or may not, decide it's time to move.
It took my Mom having a very serious fall where she spent her last 3 months of her life having to live in long-term-care. While she was there, I was able to bring in caregivers to help my Dad, as he was more then happy and could afford the caregivers. My Mom had always refused them in the past. After my Mom passed, two weeks later Dad said he was ready to move to senior living, and he did... whew !!
Dad didn't want to spend the money as he proudly said that he would tell my Mom he is going outside so she will keep a lookout. Oh dear, Mom was now legally blind and was almost deaf... yeah right, a good lookout... NOT.
I lost count how many times my Dad fell face down in the mulch or dirt, and it wasn't until a neighbor saw him that the neighbor would try to get Dad up or try to get my Mom's attention [Mom couldn't hear the doorbell or anyone knocking]. Usually Dad could give the neighbor my telephone number. This whole thing was so ridiculous, but my folks were still of clear mind, or so I had thought.