She will not take care of herself, is immobile and too weak to walk.Now she doesn't even want to use her bedside potty chair, she just want to go in bed. Her and my father in law live with us but we work full time. My father in law is not strong enough to continue to her daily care. What can we do?
If, however, she has six months or less to live, then hospice is your answer. Once again, you'll need input from a doctor. Before taking her in, you could write the doctor a letter in advance to explain exactly what is happening at home. If he or she is fully informed you are likely to get more help.
Good luck with this. We're with you. Please let us know what you decide to do.
Carol
I got to the point that I was having to doing nursing duties (supposities...) and 'he-man' work (lifting dad off the floor up to 10 x/d).
I said I was hiring help for me but it is in home nursing care. They rebelled because they need no help, but I usually default to being to inept to do the job rather than convince them they are falling apart.
They hated the nurses in their homes so much that I said the only way to stop "having someone stare at them all day" was to move into asst living where the nurse are outside the door.
One thing that made the painful stage of them firing and being real mean to the nursing shorter was interesting. Having a big open-concept home is awful for caregivers and those getting care. They are always in eachothers face. In a home with rooms the snack can be made without the parent(s) noticing how stupidly they apply PB to bread, etc...
So, we took steps as safety became paramoount.
It is one year later. They prefer their apartment. I bring them to their big beautiful (open concept, tehe) home a couple times a week for a couple hours. We are in a new routine that is tolerable now.
I'm wondering what's causing her weakness and decline, and how quickly it's come on. What have the doctors told you? It seems to me that it would be hard to figure out a care plan without having good information on what's going on with her health, and what your options are for making it better.
If she is terminally declining, then I agree that hospice is often a very good choice.
Good luck, it's a hard situation.
See All Answers