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Hi all,



My mother and father are both in their early 80s and largely doing well, but need support around the house, making sure they get to appointments, running errands, home repairs, etc. The good news is I have my sister and others who can help with these tasks, but does anyone have any suggestions on how to coordinate all this help? We've tried emails or calendar invites, but things occasionally get lost in the shuffle or at least I worry they do!



Does anyone have any apps or websites they might use to help us keep all this straight? Thanks!

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I'd try a weekly Zoom call where you hash out the schedule together, update one another on your folks, then one of you follows up on email with the current schedule.

If it's even hard to do that, you can set up schedules on Google Calendar, invite the other, and they'll get a notification to accept the invitation. For example, set an event for May 20 -- "Susan to Mom & Dad's 12-4" invite her to join, and it'll automatically be put on her calendar when she accepts. Same for your assigned days & times, and you'll both see who is supposed to be there and when.
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I would say, people take up the jobs they like or feel like they can do and each has their own schedule. Me, I hate grocery shopping but don't mind cleaning. Some may not mind doing appts. Another maybe good at repairs. People are more willing when they are doing something they like.

There will be times when, lets say, Mary is sick and can't do the grocery shopping that week or is on vacation. Then its up to Mary to call around for a replacement. I think it works better when each person has one task they are responsible for. Not one week Mary does the grocery shopping, the next week its Jane. Thats where the the confusion happens.
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email yourself, text yourself. On outlook is a calendar that you can, directly from email, set it up.
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I don't know how many people are interested in weekly chores but we signed up on mom/dads paper calendar who would visit each weekly and which days.

If we could not make our day then we switched with each other. A conference
call at the beginning of the week to confirm the schedule may work. I also would use my i-phone shared calendar but only works if everyone monitors theirs.

Sister and I found it easier to split up the
weekly chores like she did the bill pay and ordered grocery delivery. She ended up taking over paying and communicating with the sitters.

For most of the time I did refilling the meds and filling the pill boxes. I also took care of the doctor & therapy appointments. I coordinated all the communication with the VA.

Be aware that an illness in the family members can change up any well organized schedule. My sister got a severe case of covid and was out of the picture for a long time. Last year I had a stroke and heart surgery so she had to take over everything!

It was very hard with only 2 family members even though we had part time caregivers.
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Our family uses carecalendar.org for planning care for our elderly mother.
We have been using this site for almost 10 years and it is a great tool to have. One family member needs to be the coordinator and the site is very easy to use. We are giving our mother 24 hour care and have been for several years. Using this site has certainly made our scheduling so much easier.
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https://www.calendar.com/blog/what-is-the-best-app-for-sharing-a-calendar/

Let us know how it goes; we mostly hear about family members disappearing or flatly refusing, so it's awesome to hear that your family honors its elders.

Lucky you!
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When my mother needed help like that there were 7 of us so we each took a day to do whatever needed done. Also kept notebook concerning what happened with each of us That was kept at mother’s house so everyone had opportunity to see and write their daily notes.
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bundleofjoy May 2023
:) amazing you all helped. by the way, i hope your mother didn't have many children intentionally, so everyone would help 1 day per week, in her old age.
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Here is a website that has a calendar included: https://www.caringbridge.org/

It is a great website to update others who care about your parents. I use it to notify others about any crisis that comes up so that I'm not constantly being bombarded with calls, texts, visits etc. just to see what is happening. You can have it as private as you want and keep it just within the circle of those actually contributing to their care or allow outside friends and family to have access.

I'm glad to hear they doing well, but there may come a time they need more attention. If you keep it just within your circle you can use the journal like "nurses notes" during times they might be hospitalized, etc. so that each person involved can post their experience/insights and everyone stays up to date without constantly trying to stay in touch by phone, etc. I think it would be handy to have the journal and calendar in one place.

As I am writing this, I am thinking maybe have one that is limited to close family to post more private insights and have one that is more public. The public one could be used to share less private journals and to reach out when you need extra help and someone may step up.
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I'm so old / fashion, I have never used any app or computer for scheduling... and I used to work with 4-6 people weekly with different days, times, and needs. I rarely missed anything over several years.

Although you are coordinating more than one person.

I would consider creating on the computer - a chart 'table' - with days across and time frames down... and in the squares fill in the name and duty. You might also want a Key, i.e., DMD = drive to MD ... MPU = Med pick up. You will need to determine how best to abbreviate so the need fits in the square... and the key will be there to refer to -

Create a calendar weekly.
email it to everyone on it to verify / confirm they know their schedule.

Have them confirm it with YOU (as) someone needs to coordinate it all - sounds like you are doing this.

Emergency needs will come up.
I would rely on cell phone and/or emailing depending on what works for the crew. You can create a GROUP text, and of course, group email.

There may be more ... computer apps which are easier to use. I am sure if they are available, people here will respond/share what they do / use.

Gena / Touch Matters
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We literally just created a shared family Google account and used the calendar. That way everyone has access to it and can access it on their phones, tablets, and computers and can log into it from anywhere. Anyone can add something to it - so if there is a particular date that someone COULDN'T do something it was just as easy as adding appointments for FIL.
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LouF76: Perhaps you can use this website - https://www.caringbridge.org/.
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