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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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You will still hear their voices, and you can still share your thoughts. You do things on the holidays to honor their memory, look through letters and photos and tune in their favorite TV programs as if they were still watching. Cry when you need to and plant a garden in Spring because they would. It's called griefwork, a road to inner peace and knowing they will be waiting for you.
First of all my condolences. There are not enough words to say to take away the pain and the loss but I hope you do find the peace, strength, love, and comfort to get through each day. Second, since everyone grieves differently, what one may suggest may not work for some. What works for me is to get up, eat, brush teeth, take a bath/shower, and sleep or watch tv until you fall asleep. Set the tv to turn off automatically. If you are not motivated to cook your meals (yes it's important that we all have to find the time to eat even if we don't feel eating), invest in canned foods like soup that can be eaten like a meal. They have different varieties: Steak and Potato, Cheeseburger, Italian meatball soup, pasta primavera, etc. All you do is heat it up about 2-3 minutes and you can eat it with rice or put it on top of mashed potatoes or it like a soup. Some of Campbell's f As a caregiver, I don't always have the "energy" to cook for myself so I do eat canned foods along with taking my vitamins, drinking tea and coffee, and eating sandwiches. If I have more suggestions, i'll be sure to post.
Having 2 near & dear losses so close together and also in proximity to major family holidays can be very traumatic. Allow yourself whatever you need to grieve. It is a natural emotion. Don't expect more from yourself than you can handle. Don't set yourself up where you have to handle situations that you know deep inside you're not ready to. Do the best you can. Everything you are feeling right now is so raw because its current. The edges should smooth out over time.
First, I'm sorry for your losses. Second, time will ease but never heal the pain. But you will learn how to deal with it. My mom's been gone for more than 5 years. There's not a day that I don't miss her. She was a wise woman, and I still talk to her every day. Many times I hear her answer. I think we don't lose people completely until their memory is forgotten. So talk to your parents. I believe you will hear back.
So sorry for your huge loss. Be good to yourself, the holidays are very painful to those who are grieving. Perhaps find a support group of those who have lost loved ones recently. A local funeral home, church or nursing home can put you in touch. Sometimes volunteering can be a good thing to alleviate grief. Again, my condolences.
birdfan2, I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents this yr also Feb 15 (stepfather) July 30 (mom). Comming here and reading has helped me alot! It's my morning ritual now. I was all set to volunteer w/ hospice when my husband contracted Ramsay Hunt Syndrome in Nov so thats been put on hold. Lots of days I have to push myself to keep busy so I won't dwell....music, my pets and lots of movies have helped so far. Mom loved for me to cook for her so I've been doing alot of that also. No great answers here, just what I do.
I am so sorry you will have to spend this Christmas without them. Know that they are joined together in heaven (or wherever you believe they are), and God released you so that they could have more fun together. Anything you can imagine they are doing together will ease the pain you are suffering now, and if you really are having a hard time coping, get into a counseling program for grieving children or your church bible study. Interact with people who will lift you up not down, and start looking forward toward your future. YOU are still alive. YOU have much to offer this world, and you can make a difference. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and a new beginning!
I've been mourning my mom ever since she "went over the edge" yet she is still alive (barely). Many times I find myself not wanting to do much of anything so I do things that comfort me and that way I can replenish myself. Other times I do better when I get out. There really is no Rx for this. I find myself talking about the stuff she said and did because she will always be a part of my life, and at times it brings a smile to my lips. We never "get over it" we just learn to live with it. My heart goes out to you.
I am so sorry for your loss. When my parents passed I was dealing with the financial abuse they suffered at the hands of a predatory lender. I didn't take the time to grieve or take care of myself. After meeting a wonderful grief counselor I was able to get my priorities clear and was in grief counseling for a year. It made all the difference to me to be able to remember all the beautiful things about my parents. Everyday now I think of something about them or sometime I love. Just writing this makes me cry. For me the grief counselor was so important to the grief process - and to allowing every step of that grief to be complete so I can lovingly think of them everyday.
I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. I lost my mom 6 years ago and I lost my dad last May (I can't believe it's been 7 months). While I think about my parents all the time the loss of my dad is the freshest in my memory and I miss him everyday. I actually get a physical pain in my heart when I think of him.
But losing parents is a natural life event, we're meant to go through it, not that that makes it any easier. Feeling sad and grieving is very normal and I've found that day by day, week by week, month by month the grief lessens.
This is my first Christmas without my dad and I feel the loss more today. Remembering past holidays, remembering my wonderful childhood with my loving parents who made the holidays very special for us....And while I feel kind of melancholy remembering my mom and dad this holiday season I know that this is the natural order of things. I was just wrapping presents an hour ago and I realized that I had much fewer to wrap since my dad isn't here. And then came that pain in my heart again.
It's going to hurt but we have to live our lives, continue on. We work, we raise our kids, we socialize, we clean, we run errands....we go on. I found this site while I was caring for my dad in my home and it was a Godsend. Once my dad died however I wondered if I still belonged here. I wrote about it here and was encouraged to stay and share my experiences with other people who are caring for their loved ones. So I stayed and kept coming back and that has helped as well.
This first Christmas without our parents is hard, I know. But it will be over soon enough and we can continue to live our lives and walk through other holidays and birthdays and special occasions without them until we've walked through them all in this first year.
It is very hard. Christmas isn't the same for me. Yesterday I spent several hours at a veterans home nearby and handed out Christmas cards and gave the lady veterans ruffled scarves I made. Thanked them for their service and shared stories . I did it to honor my dad. I could feel him looking down and smiling. I put red Christmas lights on a tree for mom because she loved red. Sorry for your losses.
I like reading quotes. Here's a quote that has resonated with me, it was said by a psychiatrist/psychologist by Carl Jung - "People do not overcome things, they just move forward." So keep moving. Whenever you are taking some kind of constructive action for yourself and for others, you are moving forward.
My heart goes out to you. I hope you will find warmth in your memories of your parents. Though I can't begin to know what you are going through right now. Several people experiencing loss and grief right now have responded with gratitude. Thinking of you....
My thanks to all of you who have shared your stories. It is comforting to know that there are other people who have made it through this experience. Moving forward.... Birdfan2
Birdfan2, I am glad you feel you are moving forward. It's hard, but we have to. I think we have no choice but to do so. My husband has worsening Parkinson's disease. I have found stress relief in writing probably bad poems (I have been a writer all my life.) Find your creative outlet, whether it it be painting, knitting, sculpting, sewing, whatever. It will help, I promise. And who cares if it's bad? Nobody expects you to be Emily Dickinson or John Keats! Do it for yourself, and you may learn something new and surprise yourself!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Second, since everyone grieves differently, what one may suggest may not work for some. What works for me is to get up, eat, brush teeth, take a bath/shower, and sleep or watch tv until you fall asleep. Set the tv to turn off automatically. If you are not motivated to cook your meals (yes it's important that we all have to find the time to eat even if we don't feel eating), invest in canned foods like soup that can be eaten like a meal. They have different varieties: Steak and Potato, Cheeseburger, Italian meatball soup, pasta primavera, etc. All you do is heat it up about 2-3 minutes and you can eat it with rice or put it on top of mashed potatoes or it like a soup. Some of Campbell's f As a caregiver, I don't always have the "energy" to cook for myself so I do eat canned foods along with taking my vitamins, drinking tea and coffee, and eating sandwiches.
If I have more suggestions, i'll be sure to post.
But losing parents is a natural life event, we're meant to go through it, not that that makes it any easier. Feeling sad and grieving is very normal and I've found that day by day, week by week, month by month the grief lessens.
This is my first Christmas without my dad and I feel the loss more today. Remembering past holidays, remembering my wonderful childhood with my loving parents who made the holidays very special for us....And while I feel kind of melancholy remembering my mom and dad this holiday season I know that this is the natural order of things. I was just wrapping presents an hour ago and I realized that I had much fewer to wrap since my dad isn't here. And then came that pain in my heart again.
It's going to hurt but we have to live our lives, continue on. We work, we raise our kids, we socialize, we clean, we run errands....we go on. I found this site while I was caring for my dad in my home and it was a Godsend. Once my dad died however I wondered if I still belonged here. I wrote about it here and was encouraged to stay and share my experiences with other people who are caring for their loved ones. So I stayed and kept coming back and that has helped as well.
This first Christmas without our parents is hard, I know. But it will be over soon enough and we can continue to live our lives and walk through other holidays and birthdays and special occasions without them until we've walked through them all in this first year.
I wish you peace.
Birdfan2