My mother is 84 with Alzheimer's Disease, who lives with me and my wife; I am her son. She remembers our family less and less. She really doesn't remember her other sons, which she see infrequently.
Two days ago, I was trying to talk about old times, but she doesn't remember my father anymore who died a few years ago, who she was married to for 60 years. She didn't recognize his name, and I pulled a picture or two and she had no idea who he was. She is recognizing me and my my wife less and less. Is this a sign of her Alzheimer's Disease progressing?
I knew this was coming. It was such an emotional punch in the gut, when she looked at a photograph of my father and she had no idea who he was. I know these are the "good old days," and that things are going to get worse. I keep telling myself that. I logically understand that. I guess if she can't remember my father I have to expect she won't remember anything.
Most days she still remembers me, depending on how she feels that day. I know I need to be grateful for that, because I know what it feels like when she doesn't remember me, her son. One day, she asked me to prove who I was. So I pulled out my wallet and my driver's license.
When an Alzeheimer's Disease patient is questioning who you are, how long can you take of them at home?
As far how long you can care for your mom at home that's a personal decision you're going to have to consider based on many things such as how safe is she at home, are you able to really care for her at home or would she be better cared for in a nursing home.
If she gets to a point where she doesn't recognize you and you scare her because you're a stranger to her that would be the point, I would think, that you would have to place her in a nursing home. Be prepared. Have a facility picked out, get on some waiting lists for a bed, have her paperwork together. You don't want to be scrambling while your mom is screaming for help because she doesn't know you anymore.
On the other hand, that day may not come. She may just accept that you are a person who cares for her and she may be comfortable with that. There is absolutely no predicting when it comes to Alzheimer's.
I'm sorry you have to go through this.
I have not seen the movie about Glen Campbell, but I have a sense that it might address a similar issue as his disease progressed. I was also very moved by his last song, recorded for his life, in which he sang he'd be okay near the end because he would not remember anything, and so could not feel hurt.
But I also think that it is important for people to find connections with the people they love as they are and who they are. We have small joys in our lives, though they are sometimes hard to see.
It might also help to find a support group of other caregivers who can offer you ideas and hope.
Best of luck to you.
Janice
PS My Mom is considered a bedridden person but she can still hold up her head so I wont give into that. We even bought a used handicap van and take her on vacations with us, with hoyer in tow, Shes the lucky lady. I could only hope I could get such care if I get this! Mom wakes up laughing, what does that tell you? Good luck!
Your a wonderful son & bring tears to my eyes.
I am a R.N. too & have the skills to deal with this & I so believe that sometimes loosing one's memory is not so bad? Other times it is terrible especially when your the enemy; don't know if you have been there & if not, hope you don't have to go there. Made me smile that you pulled out your drivers license to show her, I'll use that one. Thanks. See, you help me.
I so don't wish to ramble. Early here where I am & still dark....
You are a Blessing....Listen to Pam....she gives great advice.
As a side note, my mother only has mild memory loss, but when she moved in with me, I had this idea that we'd finally go through all the family photos and make notes on who was in which photos, make a DVD of it, and send copies to everyone in the family.
The first photo was of my parents, brother and I, taken when my brother and I were quite young - she took one look and said, "who's that?!" - and that's just with mild memory loss. I haven't tried, again - not sure if it will be fruitful.
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