Caring for my Mother (84) who is otherwise in good health (thankfully). Trouble is, all her friends have died and she has lost interest in everything. Most of her days are spent in her chair, reading or watching TV. Luckily, she functions pretty well. It's just her attitude is horrible. She's a miserable person who had a very active and full life. Why can't she just accept her station in life and be kind? Any input would be appreciated. (I've reached out to the medical community and senior resources w/o any luck.)
Could you please clarify? Does she have a medical diagnosis of dementia? Has she been diagnosed with depression?
Has she been an angry and mean person all her life? If not, when did this change in attitude start?
More information will get you more relevant answers.
While Dad doesn't have dementia, he's still in great shape - since Mom passed away and he moved to our home (1400 miles from his home) he's depressed & lonely and I couldn't seem to get him interested in much more than sitting in his chair.....it's an ongoing worrisome battle. If you can't get your Mom to go out (my Mom was afraid to leave the apartment at the end of her life)...then perhaps you can set up "visitors." A local agency on aging might have a "buddy" program - where they match volunteers with seniors - the buddy visits once a week or so. Or your Mom may qualify for a visiting CNA - someone to take her blood pressure or give her a shower. Meals on Wheels delivery folks are known for getting to know their "clients" when they deliver - find a person who comes to her to break up her day or week a little.
And....my favorite at the moment - does your Mom have a companion animal? We rescued a dog from the animal shelter about 6 months ago, and it has made a HUGE difference to my 90-year-old father. Another little living being in the house to talk to and fuss over when hubby & I work. It's made him get up and out to take walks during the day, play "tug of war" with her from his chair(she's only 25 lbs. so it's not likely to throw him down), he feeds her lunch,,,,and she does crawl up into his lap fairly often and gives him a comfort effect.
If I was in Mom's shoes - with or without dementia - I'd be depressed, too. You can't force her to go back to having an active lifestyle, but maybe you can peak her interest in a thing or two and give her something to look forward to & break up the long "sameness" of every day.
Good luck, sweetie. I hope you find a trick or two to bring a smile back to Mama's face.
Think about providing equally for both parent's health and safety in their later years, even if one or both are mean.
That is all I can say.