I'm in mid fifties trying to finally get a hold on the last run in my life. It seems like Im in a continuous cycle of negativity all my life. Same negative issues come up like rejection which started at home. Am I drawing these situations to myself like a magnet. Any in put on drawin positive energy to oneself. or Blocking negative. I try to live right, tend to my business, treat people like I want to be treated and it seems like when one aspect is going well in my life there one blowing up with negativity. Always a tear around a corner for me..
Also in my mid-50s, there have been times when the possibility of developing a meaningful relationship comes along. Instead of enjoying the ride, I keep wondering when it's going to go boom.
My point: If she same negative issues keep popping up, it's because you let them. It'd be best not to psychoanalyze so much or treat these issues as if it's something over which you have no control. Everything starts and ends with you, and the healing has to come from within.
My friend had nothing to do with "causing" or "attracting" her mother's dementia or her husband's cancer. She had some control over how she cared for her husband in the 18 months before he died. She did it beautifully and courageously. But she had no choice about her mother's death or her husband's suffering and death.
When you are counting your "downs" separate out those things that are totally outside your control. Life is full of lows and highs, for everyone. It doesn't particularly pick on negative people, people with depression, people with poor attitudes. Those kinds of downs you just have to accept, as graciously as you can, and move on.
But the other downs might be worth examining for a pattern. If you keep attracting the wrong kinds of friends, it might be time to change where you hang out or how readily you trust people new in your life ... or who knows? But you might get some clues if you think about it.
If you keep getting rejected, maybe you should consider whether you keep putting yourself in situations where rejection is likely.
You have to take life's up and downs. But you can also make your own ups, and avoid many of downs.
Sometimes, it helps me if I think of how some other people have it much harder than I do. For example, I sometimes consider Christopher Reeve's family (the actor). What a tragedy he had with his spinal injury. His wife worked tirelessly for years to help support him and care for their children. Then she is tragically struck dead with cancer! Their children must wonder why they had it so hard. So, I try to keep the faith and hope that my life will in some way help others. If I can make another person's day a little better or give them a smile, then I try to take some comfort in that. I'm trying to focus on matters of the heart and soul and not the money.
I also think that our surroundings can influence out mood and attitude. Are you still caring for your mother who has dementia in your home? That can be so stressful. I can't imagine the emotional and mental toll it would take. I think that surrounding yourself with other people who are your age and engaged in fun and amusing activities, might help. I know that's difficult to do if you are a full time caregiver.
Another thing that lifts my spirit is going to a concert of one of my favorite artists. Seeing Robert Plant always brings me up and gives me faith. I try to do things that lift me up like getting together with friends for dinner or cocktails, afternoon of shopping, volunteering for a charity, concerts, redecorating my house, cooking my favorite meal, etc.
HOW we react to them IS up to you!
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M88