Mother counts everything. Cereal on her spoon, squares of toilet paper to tear off & how many times she uses it. How many times she pats the dog. Parked cars, semis and billboards along the freeway. Brushing her hair and her teeth.
I guess it helps keep her mind somewhat active. Life as her caretakers is nothing if not interesting and never boring. I've heard the horror stories of caretakers with difficult parent's. I guess we are lucky in that respect.
I also meant to suggest that you may want to do a little research on OCD as well. I am NOT totally surprised that the doctor you took her to didn't focus in on her condition. This is a common occurrence since THEY do not have to live with the person and watch with anguish on a daily basis the angst they go through!
It helps the anxiety and frustration of dementia and can also benefit OCD, which it does sound like your mom has. OCD can substantially decrease a person's quality of life.
When Buspar was proprietary in 1994, it was recommended for my aunt (with alcohol dementia) by a neurological nurse practitioner who had recently attended an Alzheimer's seminar. It was very effective for her over a 5 year period.
My mom took it for the last couple of years of her life. She had drug induced dementia caused by anticholinergics, so there were many medication she was not able to take. When her anxiety and frustration increase, I suggested Buspar and the doctor agreed. It is generic now, and was unbelievably helpful. You can tell I am a big fan. Because my mom was a fall risk, we wanted to be very careful with dizziness and drowsiness. We started her on a low dose daily (5 mg) and slowly increased to 30 mg over a three week period, allowing her body to accommodate to any side effects.
I suggest you do a little research and ask your mom's doctor if you think it may be helpful. Please keep posting.