She is very unhappy with his decisions about everything from money to place of residence. He is not family and she wants her daughter-in-law to take over. Is it too late for her to express displeasure in him if he has had her declared incompetent? What recourse does family have if they can't afford an attorney?
And/or a resource for legal services could be the O.C. Senior Citizens Legal Advocacy Program.
If she lives elsewhere, similar resources can be located through Google or other search engines.
Finding out exactly where you stand could take away some of the worry and get you headed in the right direction in the legal system where she lives.
Blessings for a peaceful resolution to this challenge.
One gal's Mom was declared incompetent by one Doc, about a month after 2 of her kids got her to put _them_ on as POA's.
Except the lawyer went ahead, later, and said Mom was competent enough to sign to add kid #3 as co-POA.
So there goes kid 3, thinking she has a real POA....to the bank, investment person, and other things, trying to be responsible and learn what she needs to know, to be a responsible POA...because the others refuse to keep her informed.
#3 finds out, the banker and the investment person do _not_ honor the new POA.
The other 2 kids keep pressuring her to do things that require that new POA, but, it's apparently invalid [for good reason?].
There needs to be better, clearer rules, on how POA's can, or not, be changed, once the person is declared incompetent.
It should be the same in each of the person's Docs' records. But in this case, it was not.
The lawyer should have known better than to buckle to the elder's requests to add the 3rd kid on as Co-POA, after-the-fact. He had a copy of that Doc's assessment.
But he did it anyway.
The whole thing is seriously messed-up. Crazy things happen, surrounding incompetency.
It sounds like your lady's POA decision must be up to the judge, not the incompetent elder. You will need some sort of good proof, that the current person is unfit, otherwise, the judge will likely toss the case out. Because....Elders commonly complain bitterly about how things are, as part of their "losing it".
It can be terribly emotional, very convincing, very wearing on listeners.
You could allow the existing POA to do the job, good bad or indifferent.
Or resign yourself to the fact of the elder losing everything over the course of their being in a facility. It's terribly costly. There may be costs you're unaware of, eating up the lady's funds, too.
Be very sure that the risk/cost: benefit ratio involved in trying to get that woman's POA changed, works out for you; that is, avoid contesting it, if doing that will end up with you being impoverished, too.
In some cases, it might be better to seek counseling, to help you handle what's happening....sometimes that's as good as it gets.
2 points
1.YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REPORT ANONYMOUSLY.
2.MAKE SURE TO OBTAIN PERMISSION FROM YOUR FRIEND FOR YOUR RECORDING AND TAKING PICTURES. RECORD HER GIVING IT. NC is a 1 only state. I can record anything I want with only my permission. Also, as long as you are reporting in good faith you will be free from repercussions.
God Bless you both