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Like his dog, where she is and why he can't see her. When my father became incapable of caring for himself and his little dog, we moved him into assisted living and the dog ( as well as his license and car) were taken from him. His dog has been with a friend, but we are adopting her out because the doctors suggest this is best. They say that if he were allowed to see the dog then he would obsess about the next time he got to see her, and why he can't have her, etc. Do you have any thoughts or experience with this? We obviously want to do the right thing and it's sad for us to know how much he misses her, but we are also the ones who he takes his anger and frustration out on, and we ( my brother and I)don't forsee it getting any better.

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They will obsess over anything that is taken away. All you can do is redirect the conversation to something more pleasant.
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Around here, they are allowed to take their pets with them. It's the law. You might want to check into that.
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Ok, I was once told it was part of the "Patient's Bill of Rights" and therefore the law, but I cannot find where it is. However, all of the elderly housing and assisted living allow pets as far as I know. They proudly advertise this. You do have to be able to take care of it yourself, so I am not sure if it extends to nursing homes. A lot of the homes have resident cats and the therapy dogs visit regularly. Pets are very important to a lot of people and help keep them calm, hence less stress and anger. Not sure why you can't let your dad have his dog? One less thing for him to worry about and like I constantly have to ask myself, is this the hill I want to die on? I do try to choose my battles -

Oh, I see where you said he's not capable of caring for his dog any longer. Could you hire a dog walker who could also put out food and water for her? Just throwing out a suggestion, I hate to think that he loses everything important to him. I would go crazy without my dogs. MIL is not and never has been a dog person, but she is constantly checking up on ours, knowing where they are and letting me know what they are doing. She no longer can pick up the toys to throw, but if someone hands her one, she'll gladly throw it. And the least one gets in her lap and she's happy about that. I'd get her a cat if I could feel comfortable that it would get along with the 3 housedogs. Don't want to see fur fly! Good luck finding a solution.
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