My dad is getting very forgetful and loses his train of thought. We kids don't want him living alone. His wife moved to AZ 3 years ago and she and her adult kids are bleeding him dry financially. He lives in WI. He said he cant afford a divorce which is an excuse because he just bought her a new van and himself a new car-plus his and her guns. She is verbally and emotionally abusive to him. How do we take control of his finances and help him straighten his life out? And hopefully obtain a divorce for him. He has few assets but big monthly retirement checks monthly. He has decided he is going to live with us kids on a rotating basis as she refuses to move back. Would like to cut her off financially as she is just using him for his money. What is the first step? She works full time and he paid for her motor home and car down there. She spends most of his money on her kids and grandkids. He has been married to her for 11-12 years so he might have to pay alimony in WI but that would still leave him with more money than he has now.
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Word of caution --- Alzheimers patients easily forget 'the plan'. You and your sibs should be taking over the bill paying, etc and keep the account information away from yur Dad. It would be easy for him to read off the numbers to her on a phone call. It might be worth a post office box to keep everything our of his hands. Good luck
With Dad's permission, whomever is the new Power of Attorney, he/she can take over the accounts/bills and have a bank account set up with both Dad's name and the POA's name so that the POA can write checks for the bills. Have all the bills, bank statements, anything regarding money, sent to the Power of Attorney's house. If estranged Wife wants any money, she has to go through whomever is the POA.
Also, have Dad get his Will updated while he can. DO IT NOW. One wouldn't want the estranged wife to get anything. If there are a lot of assets and bank accounts, Dad might want to consider a Trust. That is something Dad can talk over with the Elder Law Attorney to see if a Trust is a good idea or not.
If Dad hasn't been with his wife for 3 years, maybe there is a State law which will say that she had abandoned him, thus making the divorce quicker. Getting a divorce would be less expensive then having estrange wife use him as her personal ATM. I assume there was no children born of that marriage, nor adopting of her children.