Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
He's been there for 4 years and this just started a couple of months ago. It's his money so that's fine but I'm concerned he could be getting threatened. What might he be using it for?
I'll go with the happy thought that Dad has become quite the old rooster @ the NH. At my mom's NH in the canteen or sundries shop, they have all kinds of stuff especially hair accessories. Bobby pins with butterflies, beribboned hair scrunchies, silk flowers barrettes, etc which the residents can buy. (The residents are a riot of color in their hair during Fiesta Week, just too funny!) Maybe Dad is buying things for a couple of favorite ladies???? You can go and ask them if Dad is shopping there. The beauty shop charge for wash,cut, set & b.o is $ 15 too, $ 30 would mean he pays for this for someone twice a month. You can ask the "beauty operator" as my mom would say, if dad is paying for someone special. If both of those pan out, speak with the activities person to see if they are having vendors come in - like girl scouts selling cookies, boy scouts ditto for popcorn, or a church auxiliary that comes in to do resale (my mom's current NH does this and it is really terrific, they bring clothes in on racks and set up tables with small stuff, prices low, residents love it; everybody gets a voucher for $ 5.00 too)
Does this NH do trips? If so & he is going, he may feel better just having some $ just in case.
Another thought, what is the situation with his personal needs trust account @ the NH? If he is on Medicaid, they allow from $ 35 - 90 a month for them to have as their personal needs allowance. If the NH gets his SS and retirement, then each month his trust builds by this amount. But if family is dealing with doing his co-pay to the NH, he may not have anything in his NH trust fund like the other residents do. So he asks you for $ instead. Or he doesn't understand how to deal with the business office to get $ out of his NH trust account so instead he asks you for money. Maybe that is what is happening??
He is in assisted living, with only mobility problems. It doesn't say that he is incompetent. Ask what he needs money for, by asking if he needs more, etc. "How much is whatever you are spending it on, Dad?" Does the facility take them to Walmart? Restaurants? Maybe he gets his hair cut, a lot. Just ask.
If it was me, I still would give him the money but in a smaller amount and see if he notices. Try to find out what he is using it for or thinks he needs to have it for. He grew up in a depression era, so he may be hoarding it somewhere. Ask his doctor for his opinion also. If he hasn't seen him for two or three months, it may be time to have him do so. One of the early signs of age related mental changes is this type of behavior.
I wouldn't be. How much trouble can he get into with $30? ;)
If it brings him joy? I'd keep right on forkin' it over.
Threatened? I'd say it's more likely he has a girlfriend. Maybe he's paying to get her hair done.
You might try asking the head nurse what she thinks he's doing with it. But I sure wouldn't judge him for it or let on that I knew. So few opportunities for joy in a 93-year-old's life. .
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'll go with the happy thought that Dad has become quite the old rooster @ the NH. At my mom's NH in the canteen or sundries shop, they have all kinds of stuff especially hair accessories. Bobby pins with butterflies, beribboned hair scrunchies, silk flowers barrettes, etc which the residents can buy. (The residents are a riot of color in their hair during Fiesta Week, just too funny!) Maybe Dad is buying things for a couple of favorite ladies???? You can go and ask them if Dad is shopping there. The beauty shop charge for wash,cut, set & b.o is $ 15 too, $ 30 would mean he pays for this for someone twice a month. You can ask the "beauty operator" as my mom would say, if dad is paying for someone special. If both of those pan out, speak with the activities person to see if they are having vendors come in - like girl scouts selling cookies, boy scouts ditto for popcorn, or a church auxiliary that comes in to do resale (my mom's current NH does this and it is really terrific, they bring clothes in on racks and set up tables with small stuff, prices low, residents love it; everybody gets a voucher for $ 5.00 too)
Does this NH do trips? If so & he is going, he may feel better just having some $ just in case.
Another thought, what is the situation with his personal needs trust account @ the NH? If he is on Medicaid, they allow from $ 35 - 90 a month for them to have as their personal needs allowance. If the NH gets his SS and retirement, then each month his trust builds by this amount. But if family is dealing with doing his co-pay to the NH, he may not have anything in his NH trust fund like the other residents do. So he asks you for $ instead. Or he doesn't understand how to deal with the business office to get $ out of his NH trust account so instead he asks you for money. Maybe that is what is happening??
In thinking about your comment, I did a quick search here and found this post:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/strange-obsessions-OCD-elderly-parent-138673.htm
Marlo Sollitto wrote it and it is done very well.
Give him fake/play money.
If it brings him joy? I'd keep right on forkin' it over.
Threatened? I'd say it's more likely he has a girlfriend. Maybe he's paying to get her hair done.
You might try asking the head nurse what she thinks he's doing with it. But I sure wouldn't judge him for it or let on that I knew. So few opportunities for joy in a 93-year-old's life. .