My dad never liked being alone and his last marriage was his happiest. But she passed away in 2010 and he has been alone ever since. He had suffered a pretty hard stroke 1year prior to her passing and it has really effected him emotionally, he cries at the drop of a leaf, everything is gloomy in his eyes. We live on the Cape Cod and it's a summer place, so fall and winter are very desolate, many houses are empty because they are summer homes, businesses are closed, he see it as very empty (half empty glass guy). He has no drive to do anything I try to get him to read a book, see a movie, go to the senior center and he won't. He will just curl up on the couch and sleep. I take him to the doctors regularly and we talked about antidepressants but he thinks it will make him a vegitable and that he is doing fine. I don't want him to be a vegetable, I just have a hard time seeing him feel so empty and crying when he doesn't know what to do. I try to get him to play card, chess anything to keep his mind off the emptiness, but that's hard to maintain ! Anyone else deal with this and have some ideas ? He is hard of hearing but refuses to get aids, so I kind of understand not liking the movies. Can not get him to understand that not hearing makes him more disconnected from the world, adds to the depression.
Another option is your state website. If you type your state's name and the words aging or aging services into your web browser, you should see a list of local options. Look for a version of the National Family Caregivers Support Program. This program is federal and can offer a lot of help. It's a little different in each state, but still you should find support.
Good luck and please keep checking in on this forum. It's a terrific community of caring people with a lot of wisdom.
Carol
When you take your dad to the Dr. can you ask the Dr. to explain to your dad how antidepressants work? We all know that antidepressants don't turn people into vegetables. From what you wrote, the life he's leading now is what he fears regarding antidepressants. That is, if the Dr. thinks your dad would benefit from them they can only help.
You've given your dad some great suggestions on how to get out of the house and become more active. Laying around the house depressed and crying only perpetuates the depression. It's very depressing to lay around the house crying. Unless he takes a leap of faith and makes a decision to start feeling better there is little that you can do to change his situation. We can't make someone do something they don't want to do.
It must be heartbreaking to see your dad like this. If it were my dad I wouldn't be above a little begging to get him out of the house. When I cared for my dad and he wouldn't do something that I knew would be good for him I played the "Do it for me" and "I'm trying so hard to help you, can you meet me halfway?" cards. A little guilt never hurt anyone.
The short story may never be finished and that is not a big issue for me. I needed stimulation and here I am....Namaste..oliveoyl
Can I get that phone number?
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