My 80yo father widowed 4 y ago after 54 years of marriage. He was a very successful businessman. After mom died, he sold the house immediately and has lived with me and my husband for four years. He is very social and people love him. Lately, all he wants to do is look up old girlfriends and wants them to be young and pretty. He is in great health, except for diabetes, but will not take care of himself. He smokes cigars like a chimney and always wants sweets, can't depend on him to take his meds correctly, even when we fix them for him. My brother and I feel like we have another teenager.
I've seen it with the very elderly. Was a target of one one time. I was VERY glad he was only a client so I had limited contact with him. He'd just lost his wife who was 26 years younger than him. He never thought THAT'D happen. In his case, he was desperately looking for another "nurse". He asked me out to dinner several times . . . his daughter called me and asked me to join them all for dinner a few times . . . until I finally told HER to please take me off dad's call list.
Still, the elderlies' lives become soooo small. And he is probably very lonesome even living with you and your family. If he's fixated on finding a woman, give in to his dreams. Tell him that church and your local senior center is exactly what he needs. Find out about the sr. center programs and encourage him to go.
He'll flirt shamelessly with a bunch of women who will find him (possibly) irresistibly charming and ego-feeding. He'll make THEIR day. And they'll make his. I can't think of much else that would keep him any happier.
As for the cigars, no matter how great a guy is, those cigars would be a deal breaker for me and probably some others :P
So yes its so easy now to track someone down with all our technology I never thought mum would find him in the states but he had an unusual name so it was easier as there were very few with this name!
Though the years you live in this fantasy of the knight in shining armor coming back to rescue you... but in that fantasy you both are still 21 years old. But time changes, people change, we look different, hearts heal somewhat, and then you are angry over the life you never had with that person as some other woman was chosen to take your place for those 40 years. And he still smokes :P