Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My Dad, a fiercely independednt retired Marine, is not opening his mail timely. As a result, his bills are not getting paid or are paid late. Any advice on how to approach this subject with him? Is this a sympton of dementia?
"Hey, dad, why don't I start making out your checks for you when I come over? It's no trouble at all. Makes me feel useful!! How does that sound to you?"
I took over mom's bill paying probably five years ago. She's 87. Lives with me now. But I suddenly noticed she was paying bills late or paying them twice. Couldn't balance her checkbook anymore. She never blinked when I said that to her. She was fine with it.
I'd gather everything together twice a month and then tell mom, "Okay, mom, I'm paying your electric bill, gas bill and lawn cutting bill today." Then I'd tell her what her balance was in her checking account, and mail the payments on my way home.
Yes, this is one of the first signs family members should be alert to. Do you live close by? There are subtle ways to get involved. Utilities can be notified this is a senior so they don't turn off the service - they would notify you (or another) instead. You can check the alzheimers website --- alz.org While this is more likely dementia, the signs and behaviors are similar. Think of how to approach this. Can you casually say, gee the print on the mail keeps getting smaller, let's take a look at what you have there? I used to write the checks out for my mother-in-law and have her sign them to make it 'easy'. If you do something like this, you can assess the level of interest.
One big things you can still do at this stage. Make sure all the legal stuff is in order! POA, medical care proxy, wills etc. How to get to that subject? Dad my friend 'Suzy' is helping her parents get everything together b/c her in-laws left a mess when they got ill. Why don't we do the same things and that way I can help you if you ever need it. I know your service experience is to be always be prepared. Good luck
If he was always on top of things before this then this may be an indicator of something being wrong. I don't know if he has dementia but if this is out of character for him you'll have to act fast.
The first thing you do is get POA over your dad. This will enable you to take care of his financial business if/when the time comes. If your dad is mentally slipping this has to be done soon before he's unable to assign you POA.
Some people go to an attorney to have this done. I downloaded the forms off of Legalzoom.com and never had a problem using it.
Have you been to see your dad lately? How's his house? There can be subtle signs that someone is slipping. A messy house (if the person was normally tidy), confusion in the fridge (old food, a box of sugar, things that shouldn't be in the fridge), and take a gander at his car. My dad had dinged all four fenders on his car over and over. Most of these things aren't obvious unless you look for them.
And ask him how he's feeling but don't be surprised if he says he's fine. He may not realize he's slipping or he may realize it but refuse to discuss it or he may not admit to it at all.
I'm curious as to how you found out about his mail. It must have been an alarming discovery for you.
Keep an eye on him and if he has anymore symptoms suggest he see his Dr. Although being a fiercely independent Marine I think you may have a fight on your hands.
Thank you all . I discovered the problem because he told me he had received a shut off notice from the telephone company. I paid the bill online for him and since then, I get email reminders when his bills are past due. I also have given my telephone number for his contact info with his doctors- they have called because he has outstanding,past due balances. Lastly, I see a stack of mail when I visit - all unopened.......I will try to address it directly, and take the suggestion of us doing the bills together....fingers crossed. Thank you all again.
I took over this for my mother almost a year ago, for the same reasons you describe w/your dad. She's quite a control freak, so I had to be stealthy and sneaky about it. When she wasn't looking, I literally grabbed all the mail I could get and stuffed it into my purse. I also took her recent copies of tax returns, insurance info, bank statements, everything. I created my own files with this stuff, both hard copy and electronic. I went online and forwarded her mail to my address. I put her on as many "do not call" and "no junk mail" databases as I could. Yes, get POA for your father if you don't have it already.
Hint: mom had two stacks, one paid and the other unpaid bills. She would hide the bills she didn't like in the bottom of the paid stack. She hated taxes, water bills and medical bills. Good thing you are on top of this.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"Hey, dad, why don't I start making out your checks for you when I come over? It's no trouble at all. Makes me feel useful!! How does that sound to you?"
I took over mom's bill paying probably five years ago. She's 87. Lives with me now. But I suddenly noticed she was paying bills late or paying them twice. Couldn't balance her checkbook anymore. She never blinked when I said that to her. She was fine with it.
I'd gather everything together twice a month and then tell mom, "Okay, mom, I'm paying your electric bill, gas bill and lawn cutting bill today." Then I'd tell her what her balance was in her checking account, and mail the payments on my way home.
One big things you can still do at this stage. Make sure all the legal stuff is in order! POA, medical care proxy, wills etc. How to get to that subject? Dad my friend 'Suzy' is helping her parents get everything together b/c her in-laws left a mess when they got ill. Why don't we do the same things and that way I can help you if you ever need it. I know your service experience is to be always be prepared. Good luck
The first thing you do is get POA over your dad. This will enable you to take care of his financial business if/when the time comes. If your dad is mentally slipping this has to be done soon before he's unable to assign you POA.
Some people go to an attorney to have this done. I downloaded the forms off of Legalzoom.com and never had a problem using it.
Have you been to see your dad lately? How's his house? There can be subtle signs that someone is slipping. A messy house (if the person was normally tidy), confusion in the fridge (old food, a box of sugar, things that shouldn't be in the fridge), and take a gander at his car. My dad had dinged all four fenders on his car over and over. Most of these things aren't obvious unless you look for them.
And ask him how he's feeling but don't be surprised if he says he's fine. He may not realize he's slipping or he may realize it but refuse to discuss it or he may not admit to it at all.
I'm curious as to how you found out about his mail. It must have been an alarming discovery for you.
Keep an eye on him and if he has anymore symptoms suggest he see his Dr. Although being a fiercely independent Marine I think you may have a fight on your hands.
Yes, get POA for your father if you don't have it already.