I feel horrible leaving her there at the dementia care facility that they both were in for the past 6 weeks. Her doctor said she is not safe to come home. She is a high risk for falling even if we hired a caregiver service to come into the house. She needs 24-hour nursing care and the doctor said she needs time to adjust to being there and then with my dad passing it just added to the adjustment period.
Your mom's Dr. is right. I know everything is different now that your dad isn't there with your mom but with your mom's dementia and her grief she needs 24-hour supervision now more than ever. What if you brought her home and she fell? That would be the beginning of the end for her. I hope you don't go down that road.
Are you able to increase your visits to your mom for a while? Share your grief with her and let her share her grief with you. If she's able, take her on drives occasionally, maybe through a drive-thru for some hamburgers.
Pamper her a little bit. I don't know how bad her dementia is but would she sit and let you give her a manicure? Aside from it feeling good, it's also a nice way to connect with someone.
Looking at photo albums can be bittersweet but maybe she'd enjoy looking at old family photos.
I'm not suggesting that manicures and old photos will relieve your mom's grief. They're just some ideas that may help distract your mom for a little while and to give you something to do while you visit with her.
I would try to take peace in the fact that your mother is in a place where she is cared for and supervised. I'd keep in mind that with dementia, patients often say they want to go home, even when they are in their home. Of course, she's likely grieving too. I'd watch that and if it continues too long, discuss it with her doctor. Sometimes, dementia patients are depressed and medication helps, but, it may be the grief. I'd discuss it with her doctor.