I have no other family to help and dad refuses any outside help. I recently hired a caregiver for a few hours so I could attend an event. Dad lives in our guest house and he locked the deadbolt so she couldn't get in. I haven't had a break for three years and I am at my breaking point. No amount of talking or reasoning has helped. We even attended counseling with no luck. What am I to do?
So sorry you are having to go through this. It seems lots of elderly play this game with their children and I just don't understand. What will happen to him if you get sick and need care yourself? He will definitely have to be placed at that time. We don't want that but if you keep on, it may well be the case. You have to take care of yourself. Remove that deadbolt! How would you get in if he needed help and couldn't open the door?
Another idea, many NH or ASL offer respite care. Plan a week away and tell Dad he is going on a mini vacation for a week. Do not take NO for an answer. Good luck. You are going to have to stand your ground and set boundaries.
Bet your Mom or his wife had spoiled him, and I wouldn't be surprised so did his own Mom. Since you are female he expects you to do everything. He can learn.
My Dad is 93 and has mobility issues, too.... My Mom [97] not long ago finally taught Dad to use the vacuum... to heat up food in the microwave.... how to use the washing machine.... how to wash dishes.... and how to clean up the rug when he makes messes.