Has been in rehab for 6 months and cannot look after himself, but refuses to go into care and keeps on insisting that he is going home.How can we as loving kids make him go into care. We have found him very nice unit in a nursing home but he refuses to accept that it is the best answer
In the end, he's in the same position as any other consenting adult - which means he has to deal with reality. I would like to insist that I am moving to a service suite in the Savoy Hotel, but sadly…
At heart, I'm more sympathetic to your father than I sound. Consult the discharge planning team about how close it's possible to get to what he wants, because ethically speaking that is what everyone should be aiming for.
Just a note to bear in mind. You may well be correct that the nice unit you've found for him is the best answer; that is, the safest and most practical answer, with many other advantages to it as well: I sympathise with you, too. But if he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, and it may be you and your siblings who have to be more accepting if he continues to reject your advice.
You mention he wants to go home... where had he been living prior to going into rehab? Was anyone caring for him back then or did he do everything for himself? Maybe he is still under the impression that if he goes home he's back to normal, or at least he is hoping that is the case.
What does the rehab group have to say regarding this? They would know if he was capable of living on his own or not. Tell your Dad if he can pass all the rehab test, then he can go home.... if not, then his best interest is a "retirement home" [do not call it a nursing home as folks from that generation think of a nursing home as a horrible place].
My elderly parents continue to make horrible decisions. Each day I have to draw my boundaries while I try to remain compassionate. It helps that my siblings and I have vowed to be a team in this. I wish you the best of luck.