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Hi Jean !
it is heart braking I know. My mother has the same symptoms and I normally calm
her down by using humor and telling her the truth. It takes patience and perseverance but so far it works. Since I work with children with different types of challenges and qualities like autism. I have taken a lot of courses to make them calm down and find a way to divert the focus of their attention. Reassurance and t keep yourself calm and funny usually works. Take time for yourself to wind down and take 5 minutes to breath when things don’t work. I wish you good luck 🍀
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I would get him checked for a UTI and completely checked out medically ASAP. Also, what meds is he on? A friend's Mother's home was sold and she was moved into a facility only to become perfectly normal after a medication was changed! There could be many reasons why he appears to be quickly demented that are not actually dementia. If all that comes back all right, then get a diagnosis on his mental state from a doctor whose specialty and expertise is alzheimer's/dementia and get meds if appropriate.
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I've had caregiving clients that kept large photos of family members in a room with the door cracked and a light on, so that as they walked around during the day they could see the person's face. I've also heard of caregiver's say in situations like this: "You're right, they should be back by now, let's give them another half-hour and if they're not back yet, let's go looking for them." Usually the patient would drop off for a nap or be otherwise successfully re-directed. If not: did anyone take any photos at the funeral that you could show him and ask him if he remembered when they were taken? It might cause less of an argument if he remembers on his own rather than you explaining to him. Or if you could call (or actually drive him to) his doctor's, or another friend or relative, and have the them explain, so he can argue with someone else, then leave. Oftentimes this is where having a caregiver can be helpful, it can soothe that sense that there's supposed to be another person there, and feeling alarmed that someone is missing.
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