Dad is 95 had a stroke 5 yrs. ago, and several more since. He has declined alot, the stroke affected his vision and memory mostly. In the last year it has been bad, well it's all been bad. He still lives at home with mom and they have hospice and a caregiver that comes for a few hrs daily. Dad has started repeating the same word or phrase over and over every waking hour. He has always called mom honey, so he continually says honey over and over, as if he is in distress. Sometimes its honey please honey please, or help me help me, it drives us all crazy. He never knows why he says it, and sometimes claims he isn't saying anything. If you ignore him he gets louder and louder, or cries, and if you ask what he needs he sometimes gets very angry. Recently, mom fell and broke her femur in 3 places. She is now in rehab, so dad is with me, and it's about to make me crazy. I give him suckers, candy, drinks, stuff to play with, nothing works. He never stops unless he is sleeping. They have him on trazodone, [the trazaodone gave him horrible diarrhea in the beginning, and he can't get to the restroom alone, that was not fun, I finally found a dose that kinda works], seroquel, and lorazapam. Before he started the repeating thing, he was very combative, angry, cursing, calling mom and me all sorts of horrible names, sometimes trying to leave or fight with us. I'm not sure which is worse, this or that, although, he still gets combative at times and thinks he can fight us. Just recently I started giving him sublingual Vit.B complex, and ginseng. I'm hoping that will help. Also going to start using valarian, lemon balm and chamomile for stress, and maybe some calcium magnesium and zinc.
I really hate all the psychotropic drugs he's on and kind feel like they just make things worse.
I've come to the conclusion that the medical profession is a joke and all drs care about is money and pharmaceutical kick backs.
Trying to do the best I can, it sure is hard. Please pray for us.
Good for you for trying natural supplements. I am also not a big fan of drugs and sometimes they do make things worse. Sometimes they sure do come in handy and help a horrible situation. Unfortunately, most doctors seem to know very little about anything but prescription meds. That's what they're trained in.
How long do you think mom will be in rehab? Do you think she'll be able to take care of your dad when she gets home?
Good luck.
I remember when my daddy became lest 'consciously vocal' and just said words. It didn't last long, thank goodness, he passed not long after being this way--but yep, he had to be put on some benzos (that's what Valium, Klonipin, Lorazepam, Ativan..and more all are). I know we hated 'doping dad' but it really gave him peace. And us.
You kind of have to keep trying to see what makes him worse, what makes him better and stick with it.
At 95, Drs. struggle with meds b/c the very elderly do not always react in the 'usual' ways to meds. Trazadone turned dad into a zombie, but it helped him to sleep all night.
Sounds like he has dementia of some kind--has he been dxed as such? Sometimes when you KNOW what's going on with a person, it helps you to think differently about things. I bet he has slid so slowly into this 'new' behavior that you didn't even notice it. Suddenly, he's somebody else!
Is it a possibility to have him placed in a NH? They are better at navigating these waters than we are. Or does he need to be with mom? This is a hard call. You're probably killing yourself caring for mom and dad is driving you nuts. Perhaps just have him placed for a short period of time so mom can rest and recoup and dad can be watched and cared for in a respite situation.
It's weird days with covid, but times are changing and I think you could find even a daycare group situation for just the days if you needed. IDK how things are where you are--here we are slowly opening up Sr Centers with low numbers of people and only if they have been vaccinated.
If you are unhappy with dad's Dr--find a different one. 2 of my kids are Drs and I see how hard they work and how stressful the last year has been on them--no doubt some docs just shove pills at 'difficult' patients, but most really care about their patients and are doing the very best they can.
Be VERY careful adding in 'natural' aids with the prescribed meds. You can get some awful reactions. Let the docs know exactly what you are giving dad in addition to what's being prescribed.
Good Luck to you--you have your hands more than full. In the meantime, invest in some noise cancelling headphones. DH wears them so he can't hear ME and they work really well. He listens to podcasts or music and the annoying sound of my voice is gone :) Might give you some peace.