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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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i just stayed with my mother right to the unnerving end of dementia. what kept me fairly calm was trying to approach the emotional caregiving task with the demeanor i would imagine a night watchman at a looney ward having. hes not going to cure anyone, no need to argue with a bunch of nuts just keep them safe from hurting anyone / thing . my mom would say some pretty far out things but i learned to go on with the next subject and discount the jibberish / delusions..
Yikes! That sounds like something a four-year-old might say in a fit of temper. ("I hate you Mommy! I hope the boogey man gets you!")
So the question is, is there any explanation of why Dad would be acting like a four-year-old? For example, does he have dementia? Mental illness? Did his wife recently die?
If you can supply some details about your Dad's impairments (why you are his caregiver) that may prompt some specific responses.
Or has Dad always behaved like this? How long have you been his caregiver? Do you live together? His house or yours?
Knowing nothing about you and your dad, I'm going to hope he really wanted to say, "I hate being old and helpless. I hate having to depend on you I hate having you see me this way. I'm so unhappy."
He might also think, "If you really loved me, you would make me all better." Of course you can't make him all better, but he wishes you could use magic, and if you really loved him you would find a way. Not logical, but understandable.
He didn't use those words, but maybe that's what he meant. He is very unhappy, and he trusts you not to leave him. My father called me the C word more than once. But it wasn't that bad, because I knew he loved me, and he would thank me later for taking care of him.
I wish you strength, courage and compassion to get through this.
If he has dementia, try to put it in perspective. He may not even know what he is saying, or really be talking to you in his mind. If he doesn't and wasn't always abusive, then what he probably means is, "I hate feeling helpless, sick, and not in control, and you are doing things for me that I should do for myself and can't and I am angry." My mom used to say hateful things all the time, but she was becoming ever-more lost in dementia. You have to keep in mind that you know that he didn't mean that literally. He is expressing anger and frustration. Hang in there.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
So the question is, is there any explanation of why Dad would be acting like a four-year-old? For example, does he have dementia? Mental illness? Did his wife recently die?
If you can supply some details about your Dad's impairments (why you are his caregiver) that may prompt some specific responses.
Or has Dad always behaved like this? How long have you been his caregiver? Do you live together? His house or yours?
Knowing nothing about you and your dad, I'm going to hope he really wanted to say, "I hate being old and helpless. I hate having to depend on you I hate having you see me this way. I'm so unhappy."
He might also think, "If you really loved me, you would make me all better." Of course you can't make him all better, but he wishes you could use magic, and if you really loved him you would find a way. Not logical, but understandable.
He didn't use those words, but maybe that's what he meant. He is very unhappy, and he trusts you not to leave him. My father called me the C word more than once. But it wasn't that bad, because I knew he loved me, and he would thank me later for taking care of him.
I wish you strength, courage and compassion to get through this.