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He is 73 and she is 72. They have been married for 5 years. She has strategically moved money over the past few years. The amount of approximately 250K. I do not know where his life insurance policy is. She has told him she wants a divorce now and that they can continue to live together, but wants to ensure her assets are protected if either one of them is needing nursing home care. She has her name on what is left of his mutual funds as beneficiary. She does not let me talk on the phone privately with him and has it on speaker phone. My dad has had issues with alcohol and she is taking this to her advantage. She has been divorced 3 times and according to the bank teller yesterday they informed me that she "drained" the accounts of her previous spouses. I am told that because they are married she has access to his accounts. My dad will not have money for medical care and will need to go on public assistance and I do not know if he will have the funds if dies to have a funeral. I am at a loss.

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Wow, you definately have to be sly handling this one. Since she listens in on all calls, I would invite your Dad out to an innocent brunch, if she is overly suspicious, wait till Father's Day, (coming soon) and then have a talk with him and possibly set up a meeting with an elderlaw attorney if he is in agreement. If he protests, there isn't much you can do I'm afraid. Does he have you as DPOA if anything happens to him or does she have that? You can also consult with an attorney on your own, tell them what is going on and see what they say or listen to any advice they may have for this situation. Sorry this is happening to you but that is a lot of money in a short time to just dissapear. I would definately want a paper trail on that one to see what she has been doing with it. Best wishes and I hope you can stop it before it's too late!
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jennifer322, so sorry to read all this is happening to your Dad. One thing did catch my eye, I am really surprised that a bank teller would pass out personal information regarding your Dad's wife's past. That's a breach of customer confidentiality.

Now, you and your Dad need to make an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney to see what can be done to straighten out this financial mess. By chance did your Dad and his wife sign an Agreement saying that anything obtained before the marriage each belongs to separate parties.
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I hope you get an elder (or perhaps criminal?) attorney for your dad. I'm so sorry this has happened to your family.
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Sounds as though step Mom is going to have to learn the hard way and will have to account for all that money when medicare comes a knocking. If she has given it to her kids they will have to pay back for starters.
Definitelyconsult aan eldercare lawyer to see what if anything can be done.
Gold diggers come in all shapes sizes and ages.
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Did she come into the marriage with any money ? How did your family find out about his banking info? Well, it sounds to me like she is out for herself, and someone has to look out for your father. I don't know what can be done, but an eldercare lawyer is a good start, someone needs to protect his rights. Good luck.
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I didn't see anything here about how your father feels about this, or if he would be willing to go to an attorney without his spouse. Your dad's wife sounds pretty experienced, in stating that a divorce would protect her assets. When my husband developed vascular dementia, my attorney advised doing the same thing so that he would be eligible for Medicaid assistance if he needed a nursing home and my personal assets, about twice his, would not be drained. Google: Medicaid Divorce, but see an attorney in your state to find out just what you stepmother can do legally. If her previous marriage (s) indicate a pattern, you need a lawyer!
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Sounds like my Dads story to a T. Except for the bank teller. I can only tell you what happened to my dad. He ended up having brain cancer and died before divorce was over. She contested will and wound up with more than anyone.
I took care of my dad after cancer found and was the executrix so I know.
Make sure if you father has any joint stocks that were his before marriage to take her name off or she'll get those too. Don't let your father get the shaft like my dad did.
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Yes and attorney and perhaps become his POA is a start. The attorney will advise. You can also consider a prepaid funeral arrangement. So ask the attorney about that as well. Then there are no worries when that time comes.
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You should contact Elder Abuse & get poa ..contact Atty immediately...even call police & go in person to his house!!! Demand to have private meeting w your Dad
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I would think that if there is $250,000 or more involved, no one is looking at Medicare or Medicaid even. I agree with asking the questions about your dad's feelings in all this. If she is talking divorce to protect the assets, then your dad could very well be aware of the financial strategies. Why don't the three of you sit down and discuss it.
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